Years ago, when my ex and I were discussing some things after we broke up, he said to me, “I’m sorry I have been critical of your emotions. I realized that it was uncomfortable for me to see you in your emotions and pain so I tried to make you wrong for it so I didn’t have to feel my own shit.” Me being “fragile” was a consistent pattern in our relationship. Now, I am so clear that that was a reflection of my own beliefs playing out in him. But hearing him say that really clicked something in. When you start to see the bigger picture of what is playing out, it begins to shift the whole dance. Because when we don’t have language for what is happening, it’s very difficult to have a relationship to it. Having language for a sensational experience and relational dynamic creates an opportunity to separate ourselves from it. And with that, (combined with deeper capacity work) comes agency. I see so many couples where there is this gap where they cannot meet each other. Like a black foggy hole between them they keep circling but cannot meet in. One of my gifts is that I can see the meeting point. The very spot of truth that, if acknowledged, would create more energy and movement between them. I used to see this with my parents and it would frustrate the shit out of me. Many times I would inappropriately jump in to translate for them in order to soothe my own sensation. But now, I use this gift to illuminate things for men and women so they can see and feel the dynamic that is operating more clearly. One of the things I am doing with this REUNION series, is giving language and a practice field for specific relational areas that often give us challenges. Not so things can be fixed, but so you can have more literacy of what’s happening and therefore the ability to relate to it differently. Witnessing is one of those areas I see an opportunity for. It has the power to really transform connection and the individuals involved. To witness is to take your hand off the wheel of control. It is to stay on your mark and let someone fully be as they are. It is to trust. Next week’s workshop is going to go deep into Witnessing, for both men and women. I’m opening it up as a standalone workshop. If this is resonating with you, and you want a frame for you and your man or woman to work with in those stickier spots, I’d love to have you both there. It’s on Tuesday November 25th at 3pm EST. $99 per person and there is a recording. DM me for the link. Singles are welcome as well of course.

I’m watching people call NYC Mamdanistan and be excited about it. I am actually flabbergasted at the insanity. I don’t know why I keep getting surprised but man…

Truth is relationship lube.

A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY

GM

Is your first thought to appreciate them caring or to feel misunderstood because “they have no idea what they’re talking about.” Can you let in the fact that they want to support you, without needing to take the advice? Receiving from those who care (whether it’s a partner or a family member) when you’re on a path of awakening and transformation, can be a delicate thing. You are changing. The way you orient to the world is changing. They are often using a different map and their “help” may feel like an insult to the parts of you that are searching for validation and affirmation. There are two important parts that you are responsible for: Bringing discernment to who you share new desires or challenges with (even if you’re not asking for support.) Consciously unhooking someone’s competency with supporting you from the level of love and care they have for you. Just because they don’t understand, does not mean they don’t love you. And it is in the gap between their love and understanding that deeper intimacy is created. When you can receive their care, without needing to take the advice, your body can actually feel more open to sharing what’s true. There is internal space to reveal more. And as you share more about your values and your experience, they get to know you more deeply. You offer a meeting point where a new level of connection can be created. This is the beauty of relationship. The meeting of two different, separate beings in a new location that never existed before. Are you willing to lead that? Being able to separate love from understanding has been one of the single greatest shifts for my relationship with my family, and in turn my relationship to my path. I open to their support in whatever form it comes, while holding the truth of what it is I really need. I take responsibility for what I share, not from a place of withholding, but from an acceptance of the truth and an honoring of my more delicate desires. I’m bringing REUNION to you in a new format. A series of 5 workshops that touch on the most important aspects of true, connected relating, especially for those on a path of transformation. The first workshop is next week, so reach out if you’re feeling the desire.

I’m hosting a free online workshop this Tuesday night (28th) at 8:00pm ET called Relationship as a Sacred Ecosystem. It is the foundational principle that I use in all my relationship work and the way I orient to relationships in my own life. I really want to open up conversation and connection at a larger scale and I think creating resilient and connected relationships is so incredibly important during these times. Meeting beyond the beliefs and identities. There will be a transmission and some Q+A where I will work some real life relationship stuff so if you’re interested, I’d love to have you. You will walk away with new ways to deepen your relationships immediately. https://www.katieloconnor.com/reunion-1

GN

GM and Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadians 🇨🇦🍁

For the past 2 weeks, hundreds of geese are coming and going to our pond, preparing to head south. I imagine them planning, practicing, aligning, bickering. It makes me so happy to hear their squawking.

Do people GE (good evening) over here?

How silly To think we can pour the universe through a funnel And call it language Maybe that is why we have Dance And breath And the twinkle in our eyes Maybe that’s why when you squeeze my shoulder Or kiss my lips I travel through two galaxies at once Because God knew That the universe was never meant to be separate From all the ways we Love each other

Y’a know, it’s really fucking brave to say no to what is “standard” and comfortable and to take a risk to start building outside of it. In all the ways that we are doing this, it’s brave. Every person I see taking their own kind of risk and sharing their own gifts to make something new. And we will be the ones that those who were less brave will come to when they need it. And we will welcome with open arms and hearts (hopefully) because that’s what leadership is. We are building for them. And it can be lonely on the way. But people will be in deep gratitude one day (if they’re not already.)

GM 🫶🏻

The only way I even felt the true call to buy some BTC was when I could feel it as an investment towards another paradigm rather than a way to make money. I think that says a lot about the architecture and philosophy.

GM from a wet, quiet, gentle moment of peace.

Everyone wants to be seen until they realize it highlights the chasm between them and the masks they are wearing.

Every addiction is an avoidance of creation and service. It is a way to consume your own energy. Every addictive pattern I’ve had, there is simply a moment where I decide I am done. It feels boring. It’s like I can see how overdone it is and is such a waste of my energy. It’s a compelling waste because it’s convenient and doesn’t require much of me, which is why we gotta run it out for a while. But then there’s a moment where you’re just sick of it and you’re sick of yourself doing that little game again. Here’s your invitation to just decide you’re done.

Ayn Rand coming in so hot on money. Wow.