For the last half a year or so I’ve been in a deeper contemplation of what I know, what I don’t know and where it feels true to put my energy. I’ve wondered about the point of it all. I’ve listened to what energy actually feels true to express. I have had periods of real conviction in the last few years and periods of going from “I know” to “I don’t know at all” (many of these recently) and these have been really important. They have taken me back down to the quiet places of finding what I do know, below the loudness of cultural discourse. They have also taken me to seeing where I actually am with my beliefs, in person. Seeing what I can hold in my system when discussing with the person in front of me rather than blasting from the rooftops behind my screen. It’s refined me and challenged me in the best of ways. Something that feels really clear to me today is that no matter where we exist on the spectrums of beliefs, we did not come down here to sit on the sidelines and watch life unfold in front of us. We did not choose this human 3D experience to simply check out. Every person who comes into my life teaches me something because of who they are and what they stand for. These past few months, I’ve been introduced to many new things because people spoke about what they cared about. This is just as much a message to me right now as it is to you. I think about being on my death bed often and how I want to feel. I think about what it will take from me to live a really full life. I’ve had moments where I imagine my to life to be quite simple and small. And, any time I start going down that path, I feel the deeper part of me that fires up the engine to remind me there’s more. We each play a role in the creation of this world. Neutrality does not create. Over intellectualizing does not create. Overriding of self does not create. Believing Nothing does not create. There are many things arranging into place for me and so much is nebulous at the moment. But I wanted to come on here and share this. Because this is what I know today.

I’ve been really sitting in a bit of a laundry machine of beliefs and stories these last few months. Moving from “I know” to “I don’t know” on some things. But what I realized is if we sit simply in the “I don’t know” always, it’s a great way to avoid action. Something I am asking myself is “what do I know?” Because it is from there I can move. And could everything change? Sure. But at least I am living and not foundering in a dissolving psyche while the world continues on without me. There is purpose in being here.

Creation requires selfishness. You cannot be generous if you are sacrificing or depleting self.

Probably the best paragraphs I’ve read so far. Articulates the greatest distortion of Love we’ve ever had.

“All I want is peace” He said Shoulders back Chest out Head on a swivel “You know that feeling you get when you look at the stars And there is no more need to fight” I see the way his eyes scan around us Even the mosquitos could be a threat Never choosing to look for too long No rest “All I want is peace” He said “For my nieces and nephewsAnd my future kids too The peace that my father will never know Foreign to my mother and everyone else back home” When things have felt like war for multiple generations Peace really does seem like the only valid destination “I change the way I talk around you” He said His tone softer Words slower A mechanism of acquiring Jobs, women, a life worth living Modifying, strategizing, unconsciously trying To survive His past, it seems Filled with scenes from a movie Guns, gangs, jail And yet tonight he lays in the park with me Where the mosquitos may actually be his greatest threat And me, I listen I feel a fraction Of the weight of the tightly wound trauma, alive in his bones The heaviness in my chest sensing what he knows “All I want is peace” He said Well if that’s the case, I can’t help but wonder Will this man ever truly feel like home? - written October, 2023

The only way to preserve the purity of love between you and another is to honour self and other at the same time. If you get to a point where you have to abandon one in order to honour the other, that’s where you pause. That is what it means to be in service to Love.

The most energy generous pose to hold is one of openness. Acceptance of your current state. Allowing. It doesn’t matter the content of your state- angry, grief stricken, stressed, heart broken- if you’re in acceptance of it, you’re contributing to the space around you. So many people I work with and know, have shared. “I don’t want to bring my shitty vibes to the people around me,” and I have felt that too. But the irony is, the resistance is what pulls on other people’s energy. The closure is what actually takes away from those you care for. Your judgement of your experience is what makes you a dark cloud - not the experience itself. Our cultural obsession with happiness, joy and good vibes is a distortion that keeps us separate. Open or closed. It’s that simple. Let us be together- in whatever state we’re in. That’s where connection actually lies.

Btw, social media only has the power to hijack you if you’re disconnected from your body, Truth and living only in your mind. There’s a lot of discourse about the issues with the information we’re receiving and I definitely agree, but when you have a system attuned to a frequency that lives much deeper than information, you’re able to discern what goes in a helluva lot better.

I feel like union is the kind of partnership and love that is totally unreasonable yet you can see how it makes absolute logical sense as well.

Every morning.

You did not come down from the fucking heavens to live with mediocrity.

I just saw something about women describing themselves as driven being a turn off. And I get it, if she’s super committed to working her way up to director of marketing, that’s not hot. But lemme tell ya, I have a huge fire in my belly that drives me to create a fucking pristine and excellent life. I am totally here to be the best at something. I am absolutely here to change lives. To CREATE. My drive looks nothing like masculine drive but I am incredibly committed to living the life I’m meant to live. And so are the people I surround myself with. I did not come down from the fucking heavens to live with mediocrity.

There are AI text bots to help you text with women and those to help women with men. I’m calling it now, those who go down that path will be on a much darker path overall over the next decade. Your intuitive, honest and authentic nature is your currency in these times. When that starts to atrophy, it’s bad news bears. Stay weird, dorky, authentic and you. I promise you no manufactured relationship is worth losing your soul over.

The land I live on is magic. She protects my family and everyone in my heart, no matter where they live. I really feel it. She is abundant and generous and absolutely magnificent.

I sent the young women staying at my mom’s Airbnb out to star gaze last night because the sky was beautiful. One of them sent me a couple pics and said they saw 4 shooting stars. Fucking magical.

In the 50’s men used force to dominate their women, and many men of this generation look back at those relationships with longing thinking that’s what they want. They want the power and the nurturing it appears those relationships gave. They want peace after dating in a world where they feel emasculated and many modern women think they’re better than men. But the thing is, they don’t actually want those kinds of relationships, they want what those kind of relationships were trying to achieve. What they actually want is natural polarity, devotion, purpose and legacy. And many are looking in the wrong places. I think we’re at a time where that is totally available, but they’re going to have to stop evaluating women on the surface, and start paying attention to how they feel in a woman’s presence - which means, yes, they’re going to have to get offline and go talk to women in real life. These kind of relationships, with these kinds of woman will change the world. They are creational. They are not just a simple little family in the woods. They create worlds.

Art is just allowing others to experience the world through your eyes.

Walking with the golden rod. The tall yellow weed looking flowers that grace us as September comes. It’s almost as if the sun is moving from the sky, down to the ground to remind us that we’re about to start settling in. It is all over my property. Fields of it. They make me cry. Standing on the trail as the yellow reaches above my head. As if to remind me what magnificence is. We’re here. There are thousands of us. No matter where you look. Abundance in full expression. There is something about how many there are that truly feels like a reminder of overflow. Every corner I turn, a small gasp leaves my mouth as another patch says “yep, here to!” They’re cheery. Almost regal. Standing so so tall. They’re soft. A landing for the bees. Food for all types. Bees. Wasps. Hornets. They all take their turn. There is always enough. There is always enough.

“I want a woman to be my peace.” I have been in contemplation around this honest desire from men for a while now. Specifically witnessing how people speak about this on different levels and how it’s shown up in my own relationship with men. A woman’s energetic field is a calibrator. A woman who is at home in her body, with her life force turned on, is always calibrating to Truth. When people come in contact with that (men or women) her field will agitate and activate that which is untrue or distorted. She is a mirror. Peace is found as your system clears and finds coherence with it’s true design. So yes, a good woman will be your peace, but her presence will clear out all that is untrue first and that can be an uncomfortable ride.