In my morning element. GM everyone ❄️
Katie ⌁
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Village Soothsayer.
I write about beautiful moments. And I like to talk some shit. Relationships through an energetic lens.
REUNION begins end of October. DM for details.
Notes (20)
#asknostr how do you send emoji reactions to posts that aren’t “likes”? 😂
Yes, 4 months in and I am asking now lol
GM ❄️
Give a girl a miniature chainsaw…
Is this you?
If there is one thing I see over and over and over with women who “do the work,” it’s that they all, at some point, find themselves in a dynamic where they become a dumping ground for someone’s story and trauma. People (including men) feel safe opening up to them and then a few things happen - either they stay open, lose themselves and consume the energy of the person sharing, which leaves them feeling heavy, uncertain and drained. Or, they begin to coach, therapize (a word I made up) and try and fix the issues being revealed to them by the other person. The number of women these days who are tired of holding for their men is high. I hear it often online and I had the same thing in my past relationships.
There was even an article in Vice talking about the phenomenon of “Mankeeping", which shows me how many women find themselves in this spot and have no idea that they are responsible for this dynamic playing out in their relationships. Also, when you “mankeep,” you kill the eros and that will be the death of the relationship.
I think this is a great initiation for those of us who have healing energies. We all have to do this dance with our relationships and it’s part of the curriculum of our own expansion and trusting the power of our energy.
When we find the spot of holding ourselves in such a way that we can allow someone their experience without taking it on or jumping in to fix it, we create an opportunity for real transformation - for BOTH people. This is the power of Witnessing.
But how, you might ask.
Well, we’re going to get right into it in tomorrow’s REUNION workshop. We’re going to look at different situations with men and women (that also apply to all sexes) where we get looped into dynamics that kill the spot of connection and transformation. You know, those conversations you seem to have over and over again that end up at the same place?
I’m going to guide you into feeling the actual energies that are playing out in your own system during these conversations and we’re going to practice what it means to truly witness someone.
This will change your relationships.
Because this is such a big one, I have decided to offer this workshop as a 2 for 1 deal so you can bring someone you care about. They must come live and then they will also get a recording.
If you cannot make it live, you can still sign up and get the recording.
The workshop is $99.
It will give you a blueprint that will transform the way you care for those you love.
So join us Tuesday, November 25th at 3pm EST. It will be about 2 hours.
You can sign up here.
https://www.katieloconnor.com/reunion
Yesterday I was with a man and I danced.
For me.
For Her.
Only.
And he watched.
Unlike anything I have ever done before.
So much of my life, I’ve felt the need to speak.
To bring the vastness of my soul and the consciousness it is connected to, through the succinct articulation of my words.
As if that is the only way to give.
As if that is the only way to be seen.
As if I must always Know.
But yesterday I found another way.
A way so true and close to my heart that it felt like the only way I could have done it.
My desire for our time together was to be witnessed in the truth of the moment.
That’s it.
And as I was looking into his eyes and my mind started to lock up with, “What’s in there? What wants to come out?”
All I could hear is
Move.
He clears space on the floor, blanket down and I get on my knees.
Feel the earth.
Breathe.
Music comes on and I let it touch my insides.
The ocean swells.
Ahhhhh comes a sigh.
My chest bubbles and I know it’s coming.
Sobs.
My hands on the floor hold me steady.
Bowed in devotion to the very thing that tethers me to the now.
Earth.
I can feel him there.
But my eyes remain closed.
This is for me.
The big thing that’s lives inside that feels like it might destroy me at any second moves through my system in waves.
An ocean within moves my limbs.
Eventually
I rise.
The music becomes more sensual.
Mmmmm.
The alchemy.
My hips start to dip.
The primal pose of a woman in service.
Legs spread.
And then I hear it.
Look at him.
Fuck.
To see and be seen in this.
Can I do it?
Yes.
This is why I’m here.
Ever so gently I open.
Never leaving myself.
But letting him in deeper.
And then they close again.
And open.
And close.
Full permission for my own pace.
He watches.
With reverence.
Respect.
Intention.
I smile.
The tension slowly disappearing from my body.
It’s out.
And I’m here.
Still alive.
And loved.
This is for him too.
————-
To witness and be witnessed is an erotic act. It is to let yourself be moved by what is being revealed in front of you… without leaving your mark. Tomorrow (Tuesday Nov 25th) at 3pm im holding an online workshop where men and women are coming together to explore the relational skill of witnessing - one that I think can have major transformational effects on relationships, and the humans in them.
If you’d like to join us, it’s $99 and you can bring your partner.
Scroll down on my main page to see the button for single registration: https://www.katieloconnor.com/reunion
Years ago, when my ex and I were discussing some things after we broke up, he said to me, “I’m sorry I have been critical of your emotions. I realized that it was uncomfortable for me to see you in your emotions and pain so I tried to make you wrong for it so I didn’t have to feel my own shit.”
Me being “fragile” was a consistent pattern in our relationship. Now, I am so clear that that was a reflection of my own beliefs playing out in him. But hearing him say that really clicked something in.
When you start to see the bigger picture of what is playing out, it begins to shift the whole dance.
Because when we don’t have language for what is happening, it’s very difficult to have a relationship to it.
Having language for a sensational experience and relational dynamic creates an opportunity to separate ourselves from it.
And with that, (combined with deeper capacity work) comes agency.
I see so many couples where there is this gap where they cannot meet each other. Like a black foggy hole between them they keep circling but cannot meet in.
One of my gifts is that I can see the meeting point. The very spot of truth that, if acknowledged, would create more energy and movement between them.
I used to see this with my parents and it would frustrate the shit out of me. Many times I would inappropriately jump in to translate for them in order to soothe my own sensation. But now, I use this gift to illuminate things for men and women so they can see and feel the dynamic that is operating more clearly.
One of the things I am doing with this REUNION series, is giving language and a practice field for specific relational areas that often give us challenges. Not so things can be fixed, but so you can have more literacy of what’s happening and therefore the ability to relate to it differently.
Witnessing is one of those areas I see an opportunity for. It has the power to really transform connection and the individuals involved.
To witness is to take your hand off the wheel of control.
It is to stay on your mark and let someone fully be as they are.
It is to trust.
Next week’s workshop is going to go deep into Witnessing, for both men and women. I’m opening it up as a standalone workshop.
If this is resonating with you, and you want a frame for you and your man or woman to work with in those stickier spots, I’d love to have you both there.
It’s on Tuesday November 25th at 3pm EST.
$99 per person and there is a recording.
DM me for the link.
Singles are welcome as well of course.
I’m watching people call NYC Mamdanistan and be excited about it. I am actually flabbergasted at the insanity. I don’t know why I keep getting surprised but man…
Truth is relationship lube.
I’m hosting a free online workshop this Tuesday night (28th) at 8:00pm ET called Relationship as a Sacred Ecosystem. It is the foundational principle that I use in all my relationship work and the way I orient to relationships in my own life. I really want to open up conversation and connection at a larger scale and I think creating resilient and connected relationships is so incredibly important during these times. Meeting beyond the beliefs and identities.
There will be a transmission and some Q+A where I will work some real life relationship stuff so if you’re interested, I’d love to have you. You will walk away with new ways to deepen your relationships immediately.
https://www.katieloconnor.com/reunion-1
GN
GM and Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadians 🇨🇦🍁
Do people GE (good evening) over here?
How silly
To think we can pour the universe through a funnel
And call it language
Maybe that is why we have
Dance
And breath
And the twinkle in our eyes
Maybe that’s why when you squeeze my shoulder
Or kiss my lips
I travel through two galaxies at once
Because God knew
That the universe was never meant to be separate
From all the ways we Love each other
Y’a know, it’s really fucking brave to say no to what is “standard” and comfortable and to take a risk to start building outside of it. In all the ways that we are doing this, it’s brave. Every person I see taking their own kind of risk and sharing their own gifts to make something new.
And we will be the ones that those who were less brave will come to when they need it. And we will welcome with open arms and hearts (hopefully) because that’s what leadership is. We are building for them.
And it can be lonely on the way. But people will be in deep gratitude one day (if they’re not already.)
GM 🫶🏻
GM from a wet, quiet, gentle moment of peace.
https://blossom.primal.net/00f98fa6e8d3d316db80d279f50b0e48b85fd41ed5fade098c5b436e96fae039.mov