Been a long ol' day today, #nostr, and should have probably hydrated better. On the plus side a youngster under guessed my age by about 14 years today, so I'll take that as a win. 🥳

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there. You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit." 😂😂

Just told my daughter she can no longer escape the responsibilities of being an adult and she is now being listed as my emergency contact at the fiat mine. Absolutely love that kid. I brought her up properly 😂

Happy Monday #Nostr, hope y'all had a top weekend and are raring to go today 😀 We've got rain for the first time in weeks - mixed feelings about that

Genius

😂

The UK is a clown country. It is, btw, probably one of the most pleasant springs I've experienced since at least 2018. Bloody lovely.

Express.co.uk

Households in England urged not to go outside between 11am and 3pm on Sunday

The weather forecast suggests that Sunday will probably remain the hottest day of the week .

Just got back from the allotment, turned over the new bed and got the soil looking lovely. Tomorrow I will sow some seeds. Everything is watered. Everything is looking good. Except my carrots. Apparently I can't grow carrots. #grownostr #growstr #gardening #summer

Try slamming your smart phone down in an angry rage. You'd ruin it. Of course, slamming a 3310 down would damage the floor, but that was a special case.

I like the #Amethyst filter that blocks people when loads of people you follow block them - some objectionable npub just vanished from my global feed. I wasn't going to engage, or block, but ignore, now the filter just made that easier lol 😆

GM #nostr, beautiful day here, great to be back by the water, #London is definitely not the place for a beach bum like me 😆