Why am I so often compelled to help people?

I wish you all would read more. Trying to get anyone to read more than 2-3 paragraphs is like asking people to give a kidney nowadays.

This bitch wins the most fucked up gold digger of the year award. View quoted note →

Tripping In The Rain A Short Story By The Legendary Man In the heart of a city teeming with life, a storm was brewing literally and figuratively. High above the skyscrapers, a small cargo plane was losing altitude, its engines sputtering like an asthmatic chain smoker. The pilot, a grizzled drug smuggler named Chuck, gripped the controls tighty with his white knuckles. His eyes narrowed with hawk like precision against the pouring rain now consuming his plane. Beside him was his brother Buck. Co-pilot and partner in crime in the family drug smuggling business, Buck, was a nervous wreck, his hands shaking harder than a Chihuahua covered in snow as he fumbled nervously around with the plane's control panel in unrelenting fear. Behind them, an airforce fighter pilot named Chet flew through the sky in hot pursuit right on their tail. He had been ordered up into the air to pursue the rogue cargo plane, but not to fire on them without authorization first. They had spotted the unauthorized flight path on their radar soon after crossing the border. Chet was flying angry. Before he left back to the airbase after forgetting his helmet back at his apartment. Chet caught his girlfriend in the act of making love to fedex guy delivering her his special package. So now more than ever he was ready, able, and more than willing to work off all of his aggression on Buck and Chuck. While not giving a flying fuck about his standing orders from his dickheaded superior. Chet quickly radioed the cargo plane and received no reaponse. For Chuck and Buck were running silent unsure of what to do now after seeing the military jet in their rear view. Delighted he decided to play a rousing game of tag by firing off a few dozen 50 caliber rounds of led therapy. Hitting them a little too close for comfort by punching golf ball sized holes into the rear hull of the cargo plane. Chuck swerved the plane, trying to lose the fighter jet, but Chet was relentless. Determined to bring them down dead, or alive and his orders be damned!!! "Buck, we gotta dump the goods!" Chuck ordered, his voice now sounding gravely grim. Buck's eyes widened. "But Chuck, if we loose the LSD cargo we have nothing left. We leveraged our entire lifes savings into this deal." "Would you rather dump the goods and get fined at the airport for not filing a flight path, or be arrested and become someone's prison bitch for the next 25 years!?!" Chuck snapped back at his brother. "Open the fucking hatch and start dumping everything we got now!!!" Buck nodded, as his face turned paler than a ghost and his butt cheeks clenched tighter than a vice. As he imagined becoming an unwilling nightly lover to big black Mike at the local state prison. With gusto Buck quickly unlatched the cargo plane door hatch. The wind howled with the strength of a wolf. Blowing his hair and clothes as he reached into the crates of LSD. Pulling out handfuls of the psychedelic tabs and tossing them all frantically into the raging storm surrounding them. The rain outside the cargo plane began to quickly dissolve the tabs. As the LSD created a hallucinogenic downpour cascading onto the unsuspecting city below. Meanwhile, down in the city a bustling football stadium, a packed crowd of 50,000 fans were in the midst of a heated game. Suddenly, the first drops of LSD-infused rain hit the field. Soaking the fans and absorbing into their bloodstream through their skin. Soon after the LSD started kicking in. All of the players started tripping balls. Seeing everything from giant hot dogs dancing on the sidelines. To the referees turning into dancing cows with their whistles becoming trumpets. Playing in a bovine marching band with the cheerleaders in a conga line. The crowd went wild too. Not with excitement for the game, but with sheer confusion and awe as they, too, began to trip balls right along with the players. Soon becoming the most entertaining televised halftime show that the world has ever seen. On a quiet street corner, an elderly woman walking her Pomeranian stopped in her tracks as the rain hit her face. She looked down at her dog, who suddenly transformed into a tiny barking dragon named duke. Who quickly demanded that she treat him to a meaty dinner at the local steakhouse as soon as possible. A group of teenagers playing basketball in a local park started seeing the hoop as a giant sugar frosted donut. While they continued to play their game and licked the sugar off the ball after every dunk through the frosted donut hoop. A fat park squirrel dressed in a full toga outfit was professing the benefits of a high nut diet in ancient greek at them. The entire city was a mess of confusion and wonder. The police tried to restore order, but even they weren't immune to the effects of the LSD. One officer saw his badge turn into a spider, dancing up his arm in a top hat singing hello my lady. While another saw his gun transform into a banana that farted whenever he pulled the trigger. He was trying to stop a stampeding bush on fire that was getting ready to destroy his police cruiser with bricks of melting cheese. Just then a blonde Irish woman name Noshole who ironically had been longing for a good trip for the longest time. Finally got her wish today. As she went out for a walk in the rain on her way to the local dispensary for some weed. The oh so familair rush of the strong LSD quickly hit her like a ton of bricks. Feeling delighted and excited. She decided to start dancing and singing a classic musical inspired song of her own making titled "I'm Tripping In The Rain". As the day went on the LSD rainstorm finally passed, leaving behind a city that would never be the same again. The LSD had worn off, but the memories of the rainstorm lingered like a sweet hallucinogenic dream. People talked about the giant hot dogs, the talking animals, and the trippy rain for years to come, their eyes shining with a mix of disbelief and wonder. As for Chuck and Buck not only did they get off with a warning after accusing the fighter pilot of using excessive force. Since he turned sections of their cargo plane into swiss cheese without orders. They also were offered a new cargo plane and several hundred thousand dollars by the military. As special compensation for their troubles. Making the entire adventure more profitable than if it had gone all according to plan in the first place. The end. This short story was inspired by a @Noshole post on Nostr.

I am making siracha bbq chicken pizza to celebrate today. What kind of pizza are you making?

I have noticed this trend lately here and with other people I talk to. Wish I knew why...

Every...single...time... #legendarymeme

Why is it always the Debian or Ubuntu machines which get compromised?!? Pain in my fucking asshole today. I have to backup 350GB of data to an external hard drive. Then do an emergency server wipe and reinstallation with a more secure operating system. Mother fucking big stinking floppy donkey dick cheese levels of utter bullshit!!!!!