Witnessing several screaming matches and fist fights over who’s the better designer for the new name. Now that’s dedication! View quoted note →

Fired over 50 inexperienced devs who infested the platform with major bugs and glitches for logging in. Fortunately it was a simple fix. Now you can login with biometrics. No more passwords. Working on passkeys and mood swinging features now. View quoted note →

Made major progress setting up the new studio for all you nerds. You’re not going home tonight. Too much work to do, you’ll be paid overtime GUARANTEED. This platform needs to succeed! View quoted note →

Hello #introductions

Rounding up the staff to eliminate the slackers. Hardcore intensity is our ethic. View quoted note →

Got a guy over at the club to clear some space and renovate the offices to make room for more staff.

In a fit of rage one of my best developers just spit out a new name for the platform and it fits with the theme. Revealing 🔜. Bring more developers in to rewrite the source code to enhance our For You feed to eliminate ads and bot accounts. View quoted note →

Got the teams working on the source code to increase load times for each feed. Custom feeds are out. Redirecting my top devs to make the algorithm show more important content for small users. Stripping top users of their followers to even the playing field. View quoted note →

Work!

Following no one. Can’t afford the distraction.

So I bought this. Working on new features with the team this very moment.

Hi.