The surprising power of the peer group
BTW: these posts go on Nostr, not X - because X derates any post that is not about Bitcoin so much, they actually get more engagement here, even though I have less than 10% the followers on Nostr
OK, on with the story
A couple of years ago, I was running our first group call after our mastermind retreat.
One of the five founders could not make it.
He came onto the group call the following week and listened in as the other four one after the other described what had changed for them since retreat.
He listened, and spoke last. When his turn came, he reflected:
"I was in the complete opposite mindset." He shared that he’d had a bad week at work. I asked “What was it like hearing the others’ wins.”
His answer surprised me. He said it was uncomfortable at first, but …
“that discomfort was what sort of catalyzed a lot of the reflection, and the others are reminding me of what I know I need to do with their wins”
The following week, something extraordinary happened. He’d completed his first full draft ready for their first US customer, his productivity changed, and he had an energy level that he said surprised him.
How did this happen?
He had not been at the retreat
He hadn’t received any specific coaching guidance from me that week
He hadn’t gotten any pristine new information from a book.
Nobody held him to account for anything he had said he would do.
One thing happened: he sat in the presence of four peers who were moving ahead.
I even asked whether anyone had told him anything he did not already know. He reflected:
"No. It was being able to recognize that these [actions the others were taking] were the things that I kinda knew I should be doing."
Often the coach gets the credit when a client gets a great result. That’s at best only half the story.
I recently discovered what the research says matters even more. Harris for example (Psychological Review 1995) found that for social behavior generally, the peer group is more influential than one’s own parents.
But this was the cleanest firsthand evidence I saw ever for the power of the peer group. Because the other variables that could have turned around his behaviors were all stripped out. Yet he still changed his behavior fundamentally inside seven days, based purely on being in a group with four people who inspired him to a different standard.
Who is your peer group?
And are they helping you to become the next version of yourself, or supporting you to remain the version that doesn’t threaten them?
