Rick ~ ThrivingNow's avatar
Rick ~ ThrivingNow
RickThrivingNow@primal.net
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Emotional Freedom Coach
Have you ever caught yourself in that moment of comparison, feeling that twinge of “I’ll never be able to do that”? I want to share how this very human experience can transform how you view these moments. The Primitive vs. Thriving Mind Our brain’s primitive comparison system served us well for survival. It quickly assesses: “Am I strong enough to fight? Fast enough to flee? Should I defer or keep my distance?” This instinct still helps us navigate potentially dangerous situations — from crossing the street to avoiding toxic work environments where bosses use fear to keep us in survival mode. But there’s a more evolved way to use comparison — one that serves our thriving rather than just our surviving. Finding Your Unique Expression Imagine watching someone powerfully and gracefully dunk a basketball. If you’re not tall enough to ever dunk, that comparison can sting. But here’s the magic: What if we look deeper at what really attracts us in that moment? When I described dunking, two words emerged: Power and Grace. The yearning isn’t really about dunking — it’s about expressing power and grace in our own unique way. A 5’2" gymnast might never dunk a basketball, but they can express incredible power and grace in ways a 7-foot basketball player never could. Transforming Comparison into Inspiration Here’s how to make comparison work for your thriving: Notice when a comparison feels “sticky” or emotional. Ask yourself: “What qualities am I really admiring here?” Consider: “How might I express these qualities in my own unique way?” A Drinking Example In my own life, I noticed how I admired certain qualities in others’ social connections. Instead of feeling bad about not being a “drinking buddy” type, I recognized my yearning for meaningful connection. This led me to cultivating “spirit buddies” – deep, authentic connections that align with who I am. Finding Your Power and Grace… Here and Now Even in something as simple as my morning mile, I’ve found my own expression of power and grace: using walking sticks, moving through the forest like a sure-footed animal! It’s not about being a cheetah or a mountain lion. It’s about being me, walking with my own brand of power and grace. The Liberation When we shift from “I can’t do that” to “How can I express these qualities in my own way?” the comparison loses its bite. It becomes guidance pointing us toward our own authentic heartistry. Remember: Every primal instinct, including comparison, can serve our thriving when we learn to use it framed in wisdom. Your unique expression of these talents awaits! What qualities are you admiring in others today? How might you express them in your own powerful way? Keep Thriving… Now and Onwards! Rick
Delighted to be a new Premium member. I was getting seriously frustrated with some of the other Nostr options when I found Primal and settled on it web/ios. It's been my go-to. The backup option was a solid reason to go premium — and you hav so much more! I decided for various reasons not to use the Alby extension so would love a Primal option to get away from the PIN. Appreciate you and your heartistry!
“I forgot the gift cards I made… My 11:45 client needs them. Is there any chance you’d be able to bring them by?” Yes, sure! They are sweet, hand-crafted cards Jem made. And with all the things involved in being a Mama to two kids (and my partner, and an extraordinary acupuncturist)… she forgot the cards this morning. And I am free to say YES to bringing them to her. When we talk about Thriving, I want to make sure we include the option to say YES to “going out of our way” for those we love, those who our heart wants to be responsive to. Freedom is crafted, not bestowed. My freedom to be able to do this was consciously built. I’ve always yearned for the freedom to say YES… I did need to learn to say NO, of course. I needed to get clear that, for me, being my own “boss” meant I would be working for the one person who completely shares my values and intentions. Is this the type of lifestyle you, also, want to build? If so, I care about you succeeding. If that appeals to you, to have me as part of your circle of support, I invite you to go here and tell me more: Building a Thriving Lifestyle - Just 3 Questions As we head towards 2025, I’ll share more about building and re-building. Those who choose to respond and engage will help guide those efforts as will our circle members. It’s time. It’s time to Be Thriving Now. Together is better for this than the solo slog, while holding sacred the freedom for you to find your YES and live a YES Life. Love to you, and Happy Solstice! Appreciate You! My inbox is open! image
Thriving Anyway We covered… • Embrace the “Yes, and” mindset - Acknowledge challenges while still finding joy, like recovering from a flood yet still savoring moments with loved ones • Practice breath awareness - When caught in worry, notice your in-breath to ground yourself in the present moment • Build emotional tolerance and range gradually - Start small, like reading challenging news for just a minute while tapping, then slowly increase capacity • Accept duality of experiences - You can be grieving and grateful simultaneously; life holds multiple emotions at once • Focus on what’s in your control - When faced with uncertainty, ask “How can I be thriving anyway?” to reveal opportunities for emotional nourishment and gratitude • Shift from fear to caring - Notice the love beneath your worries to open new perspectives and solutions • Come home to the present - Use simple practices like noticing your breath or surroundings to anchor yourself when overwhelmed • Find micro-moments of joy - Even in difficult times, savor small pleasures like morning coffee or connection with loved ones • Model resilience for others - By developing these skills, you become an inspiration for those around you • Practice emotional freedom - Use tools like EFT tapping to acknowledge feelings and shift energy when stuck • Remember your capacity - You can hold awareness of both challenges and joys, finding your way back to what truly matters.
Thriving… Anyway! Now… Not when everything (!) comes together. Now… Not when all the contrast goes away. Now… Not when nothing is “wrong” with your body, your relationships, your home, your work, your country, or the World. Because we’re wise enough to know that if we wait for that… we’ll be dead before we thrive. Must be a skill then! It must be a skill to be able to be aware of that which is not “thriving” to our heart, mind, and primitive brain… and Be Thriving Anyway. That’s what Cathy and I will focus in on for this Real Skills Workshop.
Holiday Loops with the Lights Stuck On Tonight at the Lake Julian Drive-Thru Light Festival, I experienced one of those “surprise teaching moments” that mirrors my journey toward emotional freedom and self-acceptance. The Unexpected Challenge Picture this: a beautiful evening at a holiday light festival, where everyone is kindly asked to turn off their headlights. Simple enough, right? Yet my car had other ideas. Despite setting the lights to “off,” they stubbornly kept turning back on every time we moved forward. As someone who deeply values being considerate of others, this triggered a familiar discomfort - that feeling when we want to do the right thing but circumstances seem to work against us. The Mirror of Our Inner World This experience beautifully reflects how our nervous system sometimes operates. Just like my car’s automated safety feature that wouldn’t let the lights stay off, our nervous system occasionally keeps our “lights on” - staying activated even when we consciously want to calm down and regulate. Finding Peace in the Present What transformed this potentially frustrating experience was a conscious shift in perspective. Instead of remaining caught in the discomfort, I chose to ground myself during that first loop through the festival. By our second time around, something magical happened - Adira was cuddled in Jem’s lap up front, Emerald had his window down capturing photos, and we were all more present in the joy of the moment. The Deeper Teaching This experience reminds us that we don’t always know what’s happening in someone else’s world. Whether it’s the person cutting across traffic (perhaps racing to avoid being fired) or someone whose behavior seems inconsiderate, there’s usually more to the story than meets the eye. The Gift of Acceptance Through my work with EFT tapping and emotional freedom coaching, I’ve learned that accepting unwanted realities - rather than fighting against them - often leads to unexpected peace. It’s not about giving up or giving in, but about choosing where to focus our energy. Sometimes our inner lights stay on when we’d rather dim them. Sometimes our nervous system remains activated despite our best efforts to calm down. And that’s okay. By accepting these moments rather than fighting them, we create space for joy to find its way in. The real victory isn’t in forcing our lights to turn off - it’s in finding ways to thrive even when things aren’t exactly as we’d like them to be. That’s what building a truly thriving lifestyle is all about: working with what is, rather than exhausting ourselves fighting against it. Remember, you’re allowed to take second loops around life’s challenges. You’re allowed to ground yourself, to regulate at your own pace, and to find your way to acceptance in your own time. That’s not just okay - it’s exactly what healing looks like.
From Survival Mode to Heart-Led Thriving Have you ever noticed how a crisis can instantly snap everything into sharp focus? Whether it’s falling into an icy creek in the wilderness or facing a modern-day emergency, our primitive brain knows exactly what to do. It’s been keeping us alive for millennia, helping us navigate immediate dangers and plan for future challenges. This ancient wisdom helped our ancestors store food, cure meat, and save seeds for the next planting season. But here’s what fascinates me as an emotional freedom coach: Many of us are still constantly operating from this “survival” mode, even when we’re materially secure. I see successful executives pushing themselves relentlessly, as if they’ll starve tomorrow without landing that next deal. They might achieve great heights, but at what cost? When I ask them if they’re truly present enough to smile at their children’s laughter, knowing they’re co-creating those precious moments, the answer often reveals they’re still stuck in survival mode. It’s not entirely our fault. We’ve been raised in hierarchical systems that deliberately manipulate our survival instincts. Think about it — those big mortgages that keep us tethered to 60-hour workweeks, the constant fear of job loss, the endless stream of advertisements telling us we’re not enough without their product… These are all designed to keep us operating from our primitive brain, trading our freedom for the illusion of security. And it works, because we humans are still susceptible to having our fears triggered and reacting to it with behaviors and purchases we don’t even care about that much. But there’s another way. As freedom-oriented individuals, we can pause and ask ourselves: What would truly thriving look like if we removed the pursuit of status and hierarchy? What lights us up from within? What allows us to serve others from a place of authentic connection rather than fear-based obligation? Sometimes, the shift from surviving to thriving starts with something as simple as offering a kind word to someone who rarely receives them. It costs us nothing, yet it nourishes both hearts in the exchange. This is the essence of what I call “heartistry” — the art of living from our heart’s wisdom rather than our primitive brain’s fears. I’m deeply committed to creating a warmer, more nourishing energy in our world. This means moving away from fear-based marketing that triggers our primitive brain’s “fear of missing out” and towards genuine invitations that honor each person’s journey. It means recognizing when media is manipulating our fears and choosing to cultivate calming influences instead. Here’s a powerful truth I’ve discovered: It only takes one person who’s emotionally regulated and kind to begin shifting the energy of a family or community. And if your biological family isn’t a source of nourishment, it’s perfectly okay to create your thriving connections elsewhere. One of the most valuable skills we can develop is the ability to recognize when we’re being driven by our primitive brain and having practices to shift out of that mode. Pause and consider: “Is this truly life and death?” If the answer is no — if you could survive it for another day, week, or even a lifetime — then it’s open to influence and change. That’s where the real opportunity for thriving begins. As we continue this journey together, I invite you to join me in exploring what it means to live from that sweet spot where heart and mind connect, where creativity flows, and where true thriving becomes not just possible, but natural. Because when we learn to calm our primitive brain and operate from our heart’s wisdom, we don’t just survive — we create a life that’s truly extraordinary. Let’s support each other in knowing our hearts, expressing our unique gifts, and moving through the world with calm confidence. Now and onwards, together. Love, @RickThrivingNow
The Heart of Courage: More Than Bravery The word courage springs from the heart — not just in language, but in its very essence. While our stories and celebrations have painted courage as dramatic acts of bravery, the true energy of courage flows much deeper and quieter than facing down our greatest fears. I’ve sat with countless Freedom Kin sharing their life journeys, and when I ask if they see themselves as courageous, they often say no. Despite navigating trauma, choosing kindness in hardship, or showing up consistently for what matters, they don’t recognize their own courage. Like artists who doubt their creativity because their work isn’t hanging in galleries, they’ve absorbed a limited view of what courage means. In building a thriving life, courage manifests as a lifestyle — not in grand gestures or feats of willpower, but in consistent, heart-centered choices. The heart generates the strongest electromagnetic field in our body, reaching far beyond our physical form, connecting us in ways science is still discovering. This energy touches everyone around us, palpable across space and time. Yet, so many of us live in our heads, constantly analyzing, thinking about what’s next, should be next, must be next. While there’s nothing wrong with thinking, it’s not the same as living from the heart — what I call “heartistry.” True courage invites us to shift from mere thinking to feeling and being. The people I’ve been blessed to work with have shown me that courage emerges when we stay present with our past without getting lost in it, when we bridge the gap between our aspirations and reality, when we accept uncomfortable feelings like regret or uncertainty. It springs from a deep yearning — not just to survive, but to thrive, to create relationships based on authentic connection rather than mere transaction. Your heart knows things your head can’t explain. When we pause and drop from our racing thoughts into our heart’s wisdom, we access a deeper kind of courage. This courage guides us toward choices that align with what truly matters, both in life’s big decisions and in each moment’s small choices. Being courageous doesn’t mean you need to go skydiving or confront dragons. It means showing up with an open heart, day-after-day, creating value through presence rather than just performance. It means trusting that gut feeling filtered through heart wisdom, which often whispers “pause here” instead of screaming “run away.” This is the courage that builds a truly thriving life — the courage to take that next step, to speak that word, to write, to love. Now and onwards, let’s embrace this heart-centered courage together.
I’m not good enough! (Yet) It’s true. I’m not good enough. You’re not good enough, either. But here’s where it gets interesting… We’re probably not good enough to swim the English Channel right now, even though humans have done it. We’re likely not good enough to hop on a rocket ship and visit the International Space Station… even though people are living there right now. But there’s a crucial difference between acknowledging our current limitations and letting them choke us. It’s like the difference between holding a rock in your hand versus having it stuck in your throat. When these limiting beliefs get lodged in our psyche – whether from childhood or last week – they can feel suffocating. The Magic of “Yet” Here’s where everything starts to free up: Add the word “yet” to “I’m not good enough.” Feel the difference: “I’m not good enough to swim the English Channel… yet.” “Oh, right – I’m a decent swimmer, but I haven’t trained for that distance or those conditions.” “I need a support team, time, and lifestyle changes to do it.” Is this The Thing that really MATTERS to me? Notice how adding “yet” transforms it from a dead end into a doorway to exploration? Why This Matters to Your Survival Brain When we feel “not good enough,” it triggers our primitive brain’s survival mechanisms. This isn’t just about physical survival – it’s about emotional survival, identity survival, and social survival. I see this especially with emotionally sensitive people (like myself) who retreat from sharing their heartistry with the world because they don’t feel equipped to handle criticism or judgment. Building Your “Good Enough” Muscles If something truly matters to you, there are always ways to build strength and skill – whether it’s physical strength to hike up a slope or emotional resilience to share your work publicly. I learned this firsthand with emotional self-management. I wasn’t naturally good at it, but it mattered to me to be more savvy with my emotional energy. Your Invitation to Growth Here’s my invitation to you: 1. Think of something you yearn you could do (or do more of)… 2. Notice where “I’m not good enough” shows up 3. Add “yet” 4. Then ask yourself and write down: “I’m willing to…what?.. to grow in this direction…” If it matters enough, could you commit to 20 minutes a day to build that skill? Sometimes, if we’re not willing to do even that, we need to examine whether it truly matters to us or if there’s a deeper block it’s essential we address. Remember: “I’m not good enough” isn’t meant to be a full stop. It’s meant to be a pause – a moment to assess what skills we are called to develop or what opportunities we yearn to cultivate. Moving Forward Take something that keeps coming up for you – that wish, that dream, that possibility. Where you’ve been telling yourself “I’m not good enough,” add your “yet.” Then add “And I’m willing to…” See where that takes you. Every small step you take from this new perspective will enhance your thriving – now and onwards. What’s your “yet” waiting to be acknowledged? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
I notice that when I look at items on my to-do list that create pressure - that sense of have to, should, must - there’s an “or else” lurking beneath. It may not be conscious, but it’s there, like that pressure we felt when studying for a test. The “or else” was the shame of not knowing the material and being “found out.” The fear of judgment. The Primitive Brain’s “Or Else” These “or else” thoughts live in our primitive brain. If you haven’t had water for two days, the “or else” is clear - you must get water or else you could die of thirst. That kind of “or else” served us well in survival. We come from survival-centered cultures where it was “chop wood, carry water, find something to eat or die.” We even acclimated into accepting that as the way of life. Technology’s Gift of Choice The truth is, for many of us, technology has changed this reality. I don’t have to walk miles to get drinkable water. There’s enough water right in my home not just to survive… but to take a hot bath. And I didn’t even have to chop wood to heat it! The Push That Changes Everything When I’m walking down a path delightedly enjoying life, really free to explore this or that, and someone comes along and starts pushing me forward - I’m in a very different walk at that point. I’m being pushed and prodded! Eeek, how can I enjoy myself?!? It’s the same when I tell myself, “You need to exercise or else you’ll be one of those decrepit old men that can’t get off the couch.” That push transforms the experience from thriving back to just surviving. From Survival to Crafting Our World The opportunity to use our body-mind to craft our ecosystem - that’s thriving. When leaves fall and blow someplace we’d prefer they not be, we get a chance to use our body to craft our world. The opportunity to move our body, to express and build our strength, and expand our mobility so that our options expand - that’s thriving. See, thriving is about building and expanding and growing. Surviving is just getting by, getting through… because we have to. Consider that morning coffee. We can approach it two ways: “I need coffee to get off my butt and out of bed in the morning - or else I won’t have the energy to work” Or savoring the warmth of it, the taste of it, and the way our body responds to its deliciousness For your thriving today, notice: Is there an “or else” here? And if so, go a little deeper - or else… what? If you were thriving and doing the exact same thing, what would that feel like? Learn the language of thriving. Learn the frames of reference for thriving. It’s an invitation to transform every mundane task into an expression of your character, your values, and your curiosity.
When “I Don’t Want To” Is Just the Beginning I’m here at the gym. And there’s a reaction happening in my body. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go inside.” Look at all the cars… Bet it’s crowded… I’m tired… I’ve noticed something about myself, and you may have noticed this about yourself too – my initial reaction to anything that requires physical, emotional, or mental energy is often “I don’t wanna!” But that’s not guidance. It’s a reaction. A default reaction. The Question Behind the Resistance When it comes to activities, especially these kinds of physical activities, I’ve noticed that my first reaction of “I don’t wanna” is actually a question in disguise. It could be translated inside me as: “What makes this REALLY matter to me right now?” What makes it matter to me to go to the gym? Well, I’m wanting more mobility and strength. I want to maintain my vitality. I also want to grow it. There’s a boost in my confidence when my body gets a chance to push and pull and push and pull in different dimensions in a controlled way, a safe way. I’m not trying to push it. I’m not trying to drive myself to muscle failure. I’m not trying to tear myself down to build myself back up. Those don’t matter to me. It does matter to me to get to express certain aspects of my strength that, well, so far this morning and cooking breakfast for the family and doing some work – these are not things where I’ve expressed my physical vibrancy and strength much at all. The Power of Permission And now as I’m talking about why it matters to me, I’m starting to look over at the door to the gym and I’m thinking, “You know, it’s time. This is my YES right now. For good and valued reasons.” I share this because I believe it’s wise for us to recognize inside of ourselves (and in others that we love, too) that there can be a knee-jerk reaction that isn’t necessarily the truth. When we learn in a savvy way that this reaction is actually asking a question – “Does this matter to me?” – we can move forward with intention. The Transformation: Just 15 Minutes Later So I just got out of the gym. 15 minutes. My heart is pumping in such a good way. There’s a depth to me. My muscles have been expressed. My vitality has been expressed. Mindfully moving weight. Mindfully navigating other people. Mindfully choosing my next Yes. Do I feel awesome? Well, that’s not what I’d call it. I feel me. I feel more of me. I feel myself more alive and indeed more thriving now. Why This Matters I think about all the things that I want to do where being able to move 40 pounds, 60 pounds, can make the difference between being able to enjoy a trip or a walk or carrying my daughter… and not. Much of what we’re exploring within the Thriving Now Circle around thriving lifestyle includes our capacity to move our energy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. If your default is to conserve your energy, good for you! You’re human. But if you never get past that default reaction, you won’t be thriving. You’ll be surviving. From Surviving to Thriving The thriving heart says, “Physical vitality is a part of me.” My cells every day, even if I’m lying on the couch, are regenerating. My heart is beating. My breath is going in and out. What if I spent just a short segment of this day expressing myself more deeply and powerfully in the area of physical vitality? Right now, as I sit here in my car, I feel warmer. My qi is ready to go walk outside. It’s a cold day. But now that my body has moved weight, it’s pumped. The iron in the gym helped me. Now I can go for a walk and enjoy this beautiful sunshine and the crisp day instead of staying stuck in a default reaction: “Oh, it’s too cold, I don’t wanna.” Onwards!
In primal nostr app on iOS when I try to zap I get warning unable to complete operation. Have plenty of sats balance in primal. Tried zapping different accounts. Not sure what to do next @primal
I used to “should” on myself constantly. Shifting that was one of the first things I used EFT Tapping to resolve. To “be done” with shoulding. Yes, it made me sensitive to my own shoulds. It made me SUPER sensitive to others shoulding on me. The freedom… delicious. I still do anything and everything that I’m aligned with. If it matters to me, I do it. Not because I should… because my Being knows it’s my choice. Now, I wanted to share another person’s potent perspective on should’s and their own choice to be done with them…
When we're wanting to Build, we can feel the need to go go go, to stack blocks (even if the foundation isn't yet strong). Slowing down can mean taking just enough of a powerful pause to become relaxed and alert — calm and confident in the next YES. image
It's time to re-Build. I am asking you to help me do that, if it is a YES for you. It has been a growing awareness inside me for months. It's time to Build. With the devastation not only in Asheville (my family's home) but in other places in the world, too, it's time to re-Build as well. Do I know exactly what that looks like? No. Because it is meant to be Sourced from those who want to contribute from their own heartistry. We of the Freedom Kin are positioned — through the healing we've done, the real skills we're learning, and the values we share — to co-create what is essential for Thriving... Now and Onwards. So I have two Ask's right now: (1) Share with me to help guide me energy: What are you yearning to build and grow that will cultivate heart-centered thriving for yourself and others? Answer that here, if you would: (2) As we move forward, your engagement and reflections are immensely helpful! (One circle member the other day sent me an email quoting just one line I'd shared with a simple note: "This is meaning a lot to me this week." So helpful to me!) Whether replying by email or in the community center or social media, the rare specific feedback I get helps steer the energy for all of us. Engagers matter! It's one of the aspects of thriving I want to build and re-build. Maybe neither of these will be what you do. If you are in the midst of focused Healing, yes, we continue to have resources for that essential part of Life. I just KNOW, in my heart and soul, that the Builders Matter in the segment of human evolution to come. Amidst dysfunctions, can we bring emotional savvy and hearty optimism? Yes. Yes, We Can. To do that, well, support is essential. I see that in the crisis recovery in Asheville. I know it's profoundly true in trauma recovery — we're meant to heal and grow resilience in connection with other safe, Present, and regulated hearts. For building, we will hit challenges we will need to Rise into. Together that's easier. New technologies are becoming available. We can apply emotional technology like EFT Tapping to restore calm confidence — always essential when building. And there's another aspect I've noticed: when we are building together, sharing space with someone else who is feeling for their YES helps us to know our own YES... is such a beautiful experience. It happens over and over again in our circle sessions. Does this appeal to you? How so? Do you have questions? Please ask. And if you are ready to do some building and re-building together, you are encouraged to share that here: Appreciate You! My inbox is open!