There’s a lot of division and conflict in our society right now. In moments like this, we often hear that we need to “listen to each other.” But I’m not sure that’s the real problem.
From what I can observe, two people can watch a debate and come up with drastically different interpretations of what was discussed or what each perspective represented.
I don't think we have a problem where we don't listen to each other. We have a problem where we don't comprehend each other.
We have problems in our ability to temper our emotions and think critically. Anger is a legitimate emotion, but it demands a low-time preference, patience, proper processing and decision-making. We have too much of an urge to come to a conclusion of why a person we never met decided to act horrifically in a location hundreds or thousands of miles away from us.
We rarely pause to recognize logical fallacies— reification, false dichotomies, circular reasoning, ad hominem attacks, appeals to the consequent, the fallacy of composition, and so on. We rush into “debates” without agreeing on definitions beforehand, and too often treat them like battles to win rather than opportunities to clarify differences and seek consensus.
Meanwhile, media and social platforms (including this one) reward emotion over logic, amplifying division instead of fostering reason. That leaves us vulnerable—pawns on a chessboard we don’t even realize we’re on.
I don't want to be too prescriptive with this post. I'm a neurologist whose a lot better at diagnosing problems than curing them. But I suspect we’d all benefit from occasionally stepping away from the algorithm, having face-to-face conversations with people who disagree with us but whom we still recognize as safe, and—quite literally—touching grass.
Here's a picture from Heber, Arizona, one of my favorite places where I'm literally touching grass and spending time with my family this weekend.
