I guess I’m poor again.

Fluorescent light fixture technician.

Test cut complete. Chainsaw upgrade successful.

Jumping spider rescue technician.

Ski wax technician.

“There are almost no characters in this story, and almost no dramatic confrontations, because most of the people in it are so sick and so much the listless playthings of enormous forces. One of the main effects of war, after all, is that people are discouraged from being characters.” —Slaughterhouse-Five

Chainsaw technician.

If you wanna join a doomsday cult right about now, I totally understand.

“A true war story is never moral. It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper human behavior, nor restrain men from doing the things men have always done. If a story seems moral, do not believe it. If at the end of a war story you feel uplifted, or if you feel that some small bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste, then you have been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie. There is no rectitude whatsoever. There is no virtue. As a first rule of thumb, therefore, you can tell a true war story by its absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil.” —The Things They Carried

“War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner.” —Blood Meridian