ODell zapped me. I'm bleeding from my asshole.

My photo or stolen? #asknostr

Am I a rich guy with 3 wives who does nothing all day? A broke Nostr scammer who pulls on emotional strings for zaps to feed my kids? Nostrs very first molt bot, before it was cool, built to collect sats on auto pilot like a faucet? What do you think? #asknostr

In a centralized marriage, no is a hard wall. In my household, no is just a temporary routing error. If Wife 1 isn't feeling the vibe, the protocol automatically reroutes the romance packet to another wife. The connection is never lost. 100% uptime.

People are buying gold and bitcoin to hedge against inflation. I’m hedging with Demographics. While you're watching your purchasing power melt, I'm minting a private army of sons who will own the 2040s.

The only thing I fear is a 51% attack. If two out of three wives decide they want the same expensive vacation, my veto power gets overwritten by the consensus protocol. At that point, I just hand over the private keys and hope for a profitable Q4.

Monogamy is fragile. One headache and the whole system shuts down. In my house, we are Anti-Fragile. If one wife is mad at me, the other three increase their production of affection to capture the market share. Competition breeds excellence.

The plebs - "Is he fighting with Wife 2? No, wait, he’s out at dinner with Wife 3 But Wife 1 just bought a new car... I'm so confused..." I’m living in a "Zero-Knowledge Proof" house. People know I’m winning, but they have no idea why or how the internal transactions are structured.

Ladies, im going offline to an air-gapped environment (the shed). Do not attempt to ping my IP unless the house is literally on fire or the Wi-Fi protocol fails. I’m protecting the private keys to my sanity. 🤣

Other parents look stressed at the playground with one kid. I show up with a Mining Rig of 7 children. While they’re chasing one toddler, my "workers" have already secured the swings and established a dominant trade route for juice boxes. We don't "play".... We process blocks.

Fml. The dollhouse for wife 3 won't fit in my vehicle. About an inch to wide.... Off to rent a uhaul....

The government wants to know how many kids I have for "tax purposes." I just tell them my household is Open Source and Permissionless. I don't "register" births; I just mint new family members like ecash tokens. My house isn't a residence; it's a Self-Sovereign Jurisdiction with a very high birth rate and a zero-tolerance policy for "compliance" talks during Rick Steves episodes.

Most guys get married and lose their identity. I got married four times and became a Validator. Every child I have is another "Node" in the network. By 2030, my family will have enough hash rate to secure the entire neighborhood's social calendar. We don't use Google Calendar; we use a Shared Domestic Ledger.

Some stack sats or Pokémon cards. I prefer to stack boobies. 🤷 View quoted note →

You never have to worry about losing the TV remote or finding your shoes again. You have a Human Search Engine composed of 8 small people with perfect eyesight and high energy. ​"First child to find my left shoe gets an extra 15 minutes of screen time! Ready... BREAK!" You just sit on the porch with a joint while a literal army of your own creation does the manual labor.

Most guys tell a joke at dinner and get a dry "That's nice, honey." You? You have a Laugh Track. You drop a dad joke at the 13-person dinner table and the sheer volume of "Ha-ha’s" from the kids and the "Oh, stop it" from the wives creates a localized earthquake. You’re not just funny; you’re Trending in your own living room.

Having three wives isn't about "more"....it’s about the unique symphony we create together. One brings the wisdom, one brings the laughter, one brings the peace, and one brings the money.

Wife 3's childhood dream is about to become reality today. She's getting a 27×32×41 "haunted" dollhouse to play/work on.