I told my doctor I heard buzzing
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but he said it’s just a bug going around.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
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A blood orange.
Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died?
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He pasta way.
Why did the fisherman put peanut butter on his fishing rod?
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To catch a jellyfish.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
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Because they lactose.
Why did the orange stop rolling?
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Because it ran out of juice.
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?
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It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
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It’s fine, he woke up.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
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Toad.
Why was the belt stressed out?
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Because it was under a lot of pressure.
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work...
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but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
Why don’t birds use social media?
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Because they already tweet enough.
Why did the baker go to therapy?
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Because he kneaded it.
You know what the loudest pet you can get is?
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A trumpet.
What did the accountant say while auditing a document?
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This is taxing.
Why was the robot so tired after his road trip?
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He had a hard drive.
If at first you don't succeed
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sky diving is not for you!
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
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A labracadabrador.
I am such a good singer that people always ask me to sing solo
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solo that they can’t hear me.
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
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About 5000 miles