The moment I almost broke my daughter's trust forever
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Yesterday I shared my first rollercoaster ride, but I had another story from Disney that was even more powerful.
We all arrived home to our cabin at Center Parcs after an exhausting but exhilarating day. I was getting things ready for bed when I heard my youngest start to cry.
I rushed into the living room to find Sylvia comforting Bo as Lima looked on, upset and starting to cry herself.
My Unable/Able hamster wheel got triggered immediately. I angry-panic asked: "What's going on?!"
Sylvia explained that Lima had thrown a sharp keyring holder at Bo which hit her on the forehead.
This triggered my Right/Wrong wheel. I became 100% angry and raised my voice at Lima for doing something so "wrong."
Lima burst out crying.
Immediately upon seeing her like this, I caught myself and stepped into admin mode.
I KNEW Lima would never intentionally hurt her sister. I went to soothe her, but she was also triggered (her Unable/Able wheel) and moved away from me, hiding behind the curtain.
**This is exactly how wheel scripts get imprinted.**
I asked Sylvia to go comfort Lima, which she was able to do. But when I approached, Lima pushed me away and told me: "Get away. I don't want you here."
Those words cut deep.
I went to bed but realised her words had triggered something profound in me. A deep sadness at being pushed away.
Sitting on my bed, I watched my thoughts spin:
*"I shouted at her and now she no longer loves me."*
*"I've hurt her and now I'm unable to get close to her."*
*"I've broken something in our relationship."*
I watched the hurt spin and looked for the hamster wheel causing the most pain in me.
I knew the situation "out there" had triggered some deep glitchy coding in myself. I also knew that if I reacted from that place, I would CREATE the very reality I feared most.
Then I saw it: **Support/Let Down.**
I felt I had let her down. Not supported her. And she was deeply disappointed in me.
That disappointment wound cut straight to my core.
I immediately picked up little Rob (the practice I teach in my book) and comforted him. That mechanism - understanding the glitch in my code - made the wheel dissolve.
Peace washed over me.
Without thinking, I stood and went back into the living room. I hugged my wife, then Bo, then Lima - who was now calm and allowed me to hold her.
If I hadn't done admin mode, I would have returned in anger. Because I was hurt, I would have angrily told Lima "you can't push me away like that."
**That would have energised the exact script I was trying to avoid.**
It would have created more disappointment and let down - a wave of destructive energy flowing through my family system, encoding the pattern deeper into all of us.
Instead, I returned to my bed and slept peacefully with a deep knowing:
I had stripped away another layer of conditioning that would inevitably bring me closer to my family.
And that connection is the most valuable thing in my life.
**Do this work. You will find that nothing is more important.**
If you're ready to see which wheels are running your life - and learn how to step off them before they damage what matters most - my book "Glitch" maps all five patterns with surgical precision.
**Read it here: https://www.glitchthebook.co**
Rob
P.S. Lima doesn't remember the incident this morning. But something shifted in our relationship. That's how this works - you don't fix the other person, you debug YOUR programming, and the relationship transforms naturally.
