And look, if a woman can't express clearly that she's interested in you, then either she's not interested, she is not mature enough to be dating you, or she's playing games and you should stay away.

"Don't you have a mind of your own?!? You're being manipulated by XYZ!" - Someone who is trying to manipulate you.

I should be this meme for Halloween, I'd nail it. I could "well ackchyually..." just about anything!

Well now I know what I'll spend my evening doing! ...time to surprise the husband with some special Halloween themed snaps! lol

I’ve got the answer to all your problems… cuz that’s just so simple, right? 😏 But hear me out! We are trained from birth to fixate on the outcomes in our life.... Which is kinda wild given that our bodies, all that we build, this whole planet, are all ephemeral. And this next part is kinda trite as nearly every mystical text or holy book will tell you this just in differing ways: The outcome is not at all the point. Who you are, who you become, who you chose to be, your character development, that is the whole point. There is that famous line “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” Life is chaotic and involves a lot of bumps and bruises and surprises. Those will hurt, that is inevitable. But, when we add in a fixation on the outcomes of situations, that brings the suffering. YOU DO NOT CONTROL THE OUTCOME. You just don’t. Lo siento. The harder you try the more you suffer. The only thing you control is your character. And hey character development is fun! It’s like writing a novel, you get to decide who this person is. And to get this right you need to develop a character that can live in any storyline. You need to develop a character that is someone you respect when they are a rich kid in Manhattan, and when they are a peasant in ancient China, and when they are middle class business man in South Africa, and when they are a Grandma in Russia, and on and on. If you can develop a character that is someone you respect in any story line, you’ve nailed it. And when you focus on that you’ll find that the pain continues, but the suffering evaporates.

who else around here is currently obsessed with Meshtastic?

If being trans or non-binary had been a hot topic in the 90’s the way it is now I know that I would have for sure gone through an adolescent non-binary phase. But not for the reasons that the MAGA crew freaks out about. Culture is a powerful force, but sometimes not at all how they would expect. Back in the 90’s I very much picked up on how much the culture disrespected women. I wanted to be respected. I did not want to be a woman.

I'd like to be some sort of combination of Marla from Fight Club and Guinan from Star Trek. ...not really sure how to strike that balance, but it will be fun to try.

Love this and it applies to everyone, including me. I don't betray people, that's not because I currently like them, but because I'm not the kind of person that betrays people. Even if you want to burn an old bridge, when you treat people badly others notice and you damage your chances at earning the trust of others in the future.

"I am the love that I give, not the love that I receive" - some Instagram post

The terms we use as a pejorative reveal the values of our culture.

I experienced an interesting juxtaposition last week. I was laying into some people about the disparaging jokes they were making about a certain group of people in a group chat and then I got hit with a social media attack mob, on LinkedIn of all places, and lots of people showed up to tell me that I was making disparaging comments about a certain group of people. Not the same group of people, but the irony was interesting. I’m yelling at people for their ugly jokes while being accused of being too sensitive…. And I’m getting accused of making ugly remarks by people who I think are too sensitive. Lol So which is it?? To sort this out, we have to start with the understanding there is such a thing as making an ugly disparaging joke, and there is such a thing as being “too sensitive”. And so where is the line between these two? But of course intentions and feelings are useless to those not experiencing them. So we need to throw those out in our analysis. Also, I don’t think there is anything at all wrong with being sensitive. It makes you a much more perceptive person. The issue is mostly with trying to shove unfair standards on others or when trying to shut down honest conversation. So the question comes down to what makes a “joke” derogatory? When is mockery useful and when it is grotesque? Where is the line when “joking”? I find the question of mocker to be the simplest. Mocking people is always grotesque. Not only is it morally indefensible, and wildly unuseful. Mocking a person will nearly always gain you some bad will and is nearly guaranteed to send some blow-back your way. If you are trying to make a point or win an argument, mocking a person is like scoring an own goal. However, mocking ideas can on occasion be useful. It is useful when it highlights the flaws in an argument to concept, and it’s most effective when it’s humorous. And now to the “joking”. As we can’t ever truly know the intentions of another we will have to just take their word for it when they tell us that they are “only joking” and we have to instead focus your critique on the quality of their “joke” rather than on their intentions. This all comes down to, who or what is the “butt of the joke”? Jokes reveal our values. We are mocking the butt of the joke. When the butt of the joke is an idea or a behavior or situation that can be totally cool, but the butt of the joke should never be a type of person. And when I say type of person I mean an immutable shared characteristic, things like race, or gender, or sexual orientation, etc. Really it’s not a great idea to have a group of people be the butt of the joke even when that grouping is chosen, for example people who have chosen to be members of a particular church. Having church members as the butt of the joke is likely to cause backlash and make you look ugly. But having the weird practice of a particular church be the butt of the joke might work out okay. The implications of our jokes come from and support the collective unconscious or egregor. The terms we use as a pejorative reveal the values of our culture. A great example here are gay jokes. Making jokes about not liking rainbows is very different than using the word “gay” as a pejorative. The terms we use as a pejorative reveal our collective unconscious. Using “gay” as a pejorative reveals the homophobia in our culture. Using any term for a specific group of people, especially when that grouping is non-voluntary, as a pejorative, is what I would consider to be across the line. And we have to be fair about this. If we apply this rule only to groups that we are members of or that we have special interest in, then we are being “too sensitive” in the sense that we are attempting to apply unfair standards that suit us particularly. So if using a term for a non-voluntary group of people AS A PEJORATIVE is across the line, then that applies to all non-voluntary groupings of people. It applies to gay people and straight people. It applies to trans people and cis people alike. On and on. And now let’s also expand our understanding of “too sensitive”. It is “too sensitive” when we unfairly apply standards or when we can not handle honest conversation. Someone who can not tolerate an honest, non-derogatory, discussion of a particular topic is indeed being “too sensitive”. This doesn’t mean that that person has to participate or even be around that conversation. But attempting to shut down an honest, non-derogatory, discussion of a topic that is uncomfortable for that particular person is what I would think fair to call “too sensitive”. So, back to me! I’m right, the group chat was across the line and the LinkedIn mob was being “too sensitive” 😏 The group chat was using a term for a non-voluntary group of people as a pejorative, and the people on LinkedIn were attempting to shut down conversation on a topic that they are sensitive to despite there being no jokes and so no butts of jokes, and no mockery of any kind in my post. In short, I’m right and they are all wrong! But tell me, do you disagree? Any nuance that I missed here?

I love bold, raw people and I think I understand why. I’m not witty, my face betrays what I’m thinking, lying gives me overwhelming anxiety, I don’t often read between the lines well. All of this creates some difficulty in relation with others who expect a layer of pretense over all their interactions. I can figure out the pretense. I can be good at picking up on what others are feeling. I've studied people. I’ve studied psychology. I can read people. But I don’t respect it. It’s exhausting. It’s wasteful. I don’t want to live with a layer of pretense draped over me. It’s heavy. It slows me down. I want to be free of the pretense, but doing that is a bit like being a dare devil. You can’t just wear your heart on your sleeve, you have to rip it out of your chest, throw it on the ground and pray no one steps on it. You have to be willing to watch the expression on people’s faces fall when your words hit like a dagger to the gut. But if you want to be free there just isn’t any other way to be. Bold raw people stomp on my heart and yell at me when my words cut them. But their boldness and rawness gives me license to be the same. It gives me license to just be and saves me from the slow smothering death of pretense.

Sometimes I vague post about real dramas in my life, but 90% of the time I'm posting clips from the imaginary conversations that I'm having in my head all day.

Sometimes lacking an ability to pick up on social context is delightful. If someone says “wow that’s brilliant” are they sincere or being snarky? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just assume I’m brilliant and carry on 💅🏻 If you want to insult me you’re going to have to do it directly.