As usual, @Mike Dilger ☑️ was right.

Nostr on Tor works! I just spun up a noStrudel hidden service: http://a2zmtsslt7g7v5shssufp4uuh7wvr7betxglxf4fbtcxpejrvr7qmwid.onion It may take some time to load for the first time, so be patient! Make sure to use only Tor relays on the app, like so: Media upload is, at the time of this post, failing because of some restrictive configuration on the side of nostr.build, so, as a workaround, you may want to upload your files manually to an alternative service that doesn't block Tor, such as https://envs.sh , which will return a link that you can copy and paste on your noStrudel post. Good luck on your Tor adventures!

Before Tenor and "platforms" alike, we would go to some middle-aged woman's webpage, use her internet art for free, and become eternally grateful.