Gm. After running the numbers, I've realized I am about 8% budget negative at the moment. This means I expect to spend slightly more bitcoin each month to cover my expenses (largest of which is debt payments) than I will gain through fiat mining income. Not ideal, but since the expenses are denominated in fiat, as long as bitcoin continues to ngu in relation to fiat, it will work out just fine. It just means I currently as irresponsibly long bitcoin as I want to get, for now, and levered a little bit. My assets still outweight my debt exposure, though. I'm far from done - there are always more ways to move these numbers. Increasing income and shifting cash flows are my primary tools at the moment.

I used to be able to manage lists on Highlighter, I think - and they had public and private entries, etc. Tried to find that functionality on Highlighter just now (probably over a year later), and no idea where to find it. Checked out Listr, it just gives me a 504 error if I select a list. All I want to do is add/remove a few npubs from a list I made a long time ago, now that I use a client that supports lists again. #asknostr

Gn nostr. I find myself at the end of a financial year at the fiat mine. I've worked pretty damn hard over the last two years, and really don't have much to show for it, above what I would have if I worked much less. I'm thinking my goal for the next FY will be try and work a lot less. Not sure how much I even care if they fire me; they definitely haven't done much to encourage me to stay. The only reason I'm still here is because they sign the paychecks twice a month, and that keeps my stack from shrinking. Might just be time for a new approach.

Gm. Another stacking goal accomplished. Now time to go work my ass off so I can hodl.

GN. Made 12 lbs of beef mix dog food this evening, so goal accomplished for the day.

Gm. Lately I've been able to feel myself awakening from my dreams, in a gradual way, kind of like surfacing from a dive. I usually feel a little disappointed during this time, as I know the dream and sleep time are over, and I won't be able to go back to sleep and rejoin the dream anytime soon, even if I lay there and try to doze off a little more. I no longer use an alarm, and my circadian signals are working just fine. Busy day ahead, already well underway. Hopefully I can make some beef mix dog food today.

Gn nostr. Accomplished less today, but gained more. I'll take that.

If you are not putting in work toward your dream, it is not your dream. I don't care how much you say it is your dream, it isn't. Not now. Maybe never. Stop lying to yourself and get to work on your actual dreams.

Good Morning. Few things are running smoothly or according to plan, but that is what makes each day interesting. Just my daily adventure in these interesting times.

Gn nostr. Tick tock.

Gm. Another week like any other, nothing but time to pass by.

Gn. Punk af.

Today's dog food mixes: Chicken mix: 20 lbs chicken legs ($17.50) 1.5 lbs chicken livers ($2.50) 1.5 lbs chicken gizzards/hearts ($2.00) 1 lb beef tripe ($1) All that gets gets ground up and mixed, portioned out into trays at a little over a lb each, and frozen. Overall cost on this is about $1/lb. The dog (pitbull) gets one tray a day, served over two meals, along with a chicken drumstick, chopped into 2-3 pieces. Drumsticks also run under $1/lb, so the dog eats for less than $2/day, most days. I'm also making him a beef blend: 5 lbs ground beef 5 lbs stew meat 2 lbs beef liver 1 lb beef kidney It is more expensive, but hard to price, as this all came from the 1/2 beef I bought, and it wouldn't be fair to just use the average price/lb. At grocer's prices, I could get this under $5/lb, maybe closer to $4/lb. Same process: grind, mix, portion, freeze. The idea is every 3rd or 4th day, the dog gets the beef mix instead of the chicken. I usually add some beef broth to the mix when I feed it to him, as it ends up a bit drier. No bones ground in, I may eventually add in some bone meal. He still gets his drumstick hunks with this mix though. Feeding the dog this plan has resolved a bad skin condition that resembled psoriasis, that had completely covered his groin area, was speading up to his chest, and had affected his butthole area as well. I definitely blamed this on a food sensitivity (his prior diet was dry kibble), and was quickly proven right. My wife tries to tell me he just has allergies, and had been getting him allergy shots - which he no longer needs. His energy is great and he loves his new food. We still allow him to have store-bought treats (crap like Old Roy bacon and pepperoni sticks, and whatever shit Canine Carry-out molds their treats into), but hopefully a lot less of that. Funniest thing, if it is close to meal time, he will take his treat, drop it on the floor, and leave it there until after he has had his meal, then go eat his treat as some kind of dessert! He won't eat his meals alone, and will wait for someone to come sit with him while he eats - although he might snack on a drumstick chunck while I'm running back and forth between rooms to come sit with him. Long note to say - for not much more (and if you are buying premium dog food, probably far less), you can be feeding your dog healthy food on a proper canine diet (they are carnivores, and while they can tolerate some plants, do not require any, similar to us). They need more calcium than we do, this is why feeding them ground bones or bone meal is important). It also means their shit will generally harden and turn white when it dries. Dogs eating kibble tend to have yellow shit, which smells worse, and dries to brown after a while. Just like us, dogs will shit less (in volume, not in frequency like us). Our dog pisses more, likely because of the obvious additional water content in real food, as opposed to kibble. If you want more information on feeding your dog (or cat) a real species-appropriate food diet, there is some information online, but just like the human diet, it may be a little clouded by companies with profit motives. Read it carefully, with this in mind. What I'm feeding my dog right now will likely change a bit over time, based on what I find, or what I have on hand. I've mixed in (or added) sardines. Sometimes I add a raw egg. Sometimes he gets steak bites. Don't be too afraid to try something new, but check it out online first - I wouldn't advise any plants, or shellfish. Also, no cooked bones.

Today's meat shopping - a little over 6 lbs of beef, petite sirloin and a t-bone. Avg price $5.76. Buying less because I just stocked the freezer with 1/2 a cow. Also able to be a little pickier with what I buy. Today's main shopping was to buy meat for dog food, that will be in a separate note.

Gm. My stepson turns 18 today. Poor kid.

Gn nostr. One step at a time, moving in rhythym with life.

Gm. Let's do this.

Really close to pulling the plug on facebook. I've only been using Messengerfor the last couple years,and occasiknally Marketplace. The hard things to give up are these: -communication with my my wife. Her primary communication medium (even voice calls) is Facebook. But I will do it anyway. Her brother did, and that turned out ok, and they talk daily. -motorcycle riding group. They use a FB chat to coordinate pretty much everything. Which is a horrible practice, but maybe me not being on FB will get them to find other solutions. Simplex? Signal? They are not technical at all, for the most part. Not sure they would even install another app. I don't want to install another app either. - Marketplace. Where I am, there is a lot that happens here. I'm looking for a truck. Even the 1/2 beef I just bought was mostly my wife, communicating over FB. I chose a rancher that wasn't really using marketplace, but still is handling all his orders over a facebook page. I'll probably just delegate all marketplace activity to my wife. So how this is looking, I'm probably not getting a truck until mid to late October. I figure I need Marketplace to at least view recommendations my wife finds (she insists on being the finder of all cars, although I'd rather she stay out of it). FB might come in handy during my motorcycle trip in early/mid October. This also gives me a chance to warn my MC guys that I'm going dark. Looks like I may be out of Meta (never really had an insta or threads or anything, although who knows how much of my profile is shared to those) by the end of October. That will leave me with nostr, and a fairly inactive presence on LinkedIn, which is still needed I think. I may be switching fiat mines in the next months, years, whatever, and that has been my best resource to find a new fiat mine. Cheers fuckers - like me or not, I'm fucking here, even if I'm nit, until I'm gone!

Going irresponsibly long bitcoin, as if I wasn't already there. Halfway closer to a stacking goal than I was yesterday. I'm not even close to done, either.

Ok, here's what is going on. I mentioned a bit last evening, and over the last few days. I'm working under the assumption that communication has a cost, and engaging in social media is actually somewhat expensive. Also that emotional communication outweighs verbal communication, where possible. This is a long one, feel free to skip it. GN in advance. So I've designed a couple experiments, just to see how they go. First, I was thinking I would try to NOT talk to my wife when we're in the same room (like relaxing in the den, or even in the kitchen or bedroom). Any talking necessary for coordination of tasks, etc, can happen when we're outside or elsewhere. When we are together inside, I sgould be trying to communicate non-verbally with her. This means listening non-verbally as well. I don't think she would understand this at all, so not telling her about it. But it means I have to reply if spoken to, and can do some small talk or verbal reactions to show engagement - but my focus has to be on experiencing her emotionally, and allowing her space to do the same. Now in order to do this, there are some logistics involved. Our routines are such that we don't eat or cook together. I finish work (in my home office) a little after 5p. She is usually home from work around 4ish. She usually has her dinner before I'm downstairs from work, or around that time. My first chore after work is to feed the dog. He eats with us the den, and then needs to go outside after his meal to shit. If it is nice out, we let him hang out outside a bit. Then we come inside and all sit in the den watching TV. My wife usually ends up layoling the couch and giving me her feet to rub, and the dog jumps up and cuddles with her. This is all happening roughly between 6p and 9p. 9p is bedtime. We let the dog outside for a quick pee, then he is back inside for the night. Wife and I go up to bed. I've managed to convince her to not have the TV on in the bedroom while getting ready for bed, unless we're using it breifly as a light source, as the overhead light is really bright. I've also tried to stop using my phone in the bedroom at all. I've stopped even charging it in the bedroom and having it next to my bed. I don't need the alarm, and anything else can fucking wait. So I've just started leaving it in the office (again, my wife might object to this if she noticed, as she doesn't understand not wanting to be immediately available around the clock). In the morning, she gets up early (4a-5a) to get ready for work. I usually wake up between 6:30 and 7, sometimes a little earlier. I don't need to start work until 8 or 9, but normally get an earlier start. She leaves for work around 7a, and I do make an effort to see her before she leaves in the morning, although she is getting ready downstairs, and I can literally wake up, piss, throw on clothes, make the bed, and walk across the hall to my office without seeing her at all. Sometimes it happens that way, but I really do try to see her in the morning. She takes the dog out for a pee when she gets up and goes downstairs. I get underway with work, then sometike between 8:30 and 9:30, I go downstairs and feed the dog. I have to sit with him whike he eats (or he won't), then I take him outside for a shit, and if the weather isn't absolute shit, put him out in the outdoor kennel for the day. Wife comes home from lunch around 11:30, which is generally just her sitting out on the porch and smoking cigarettes. I try to make it downstairs to say hi, if I hear her come home. Then I try to take the dog out (of the kennel, or inside) for a piss in the early afternoon. He won't piss or shit in the kennel. That's the weekday routine. There's some exceptions, like when I go to pick up my son for dinner from his mom's, every couple weeks, but it doesn't change much. So working from that, I've been trying to at least check nostr when I'm feeding the dog in the morning, but that isn't long enough to scroll much. I think my other opportunity might be while I've got him outside after his dinner, or maybe while he's eating his dinner, if my wife isn't around yet. Once we're inside in the evening, I don't want to be on my phone while I'm sitting with my wife watching tv. This is when I had previously been on nostr the most. A note about the evenings. I don't really watch TV. I haven't in years. I cut cable and went streaming about the time Netflix went from mailed DVDs to streaming, and Hulu popped up on the scene. But my wife (only been together for the last decade) is solidly in the cable tv camp, so it came back. I swear she would have every TV in the house (den and bedrooms) on all the time, if I didn't shut them off once in a while, and insist no TV in the bedroom while we're trying to be sleeping. I fucking hate commercials, and they've only gotten worse. I hate most TV programming as well, as I don't care to be programmed. So normally I have been distracting myself on my phone (nostr or simple solitaire games) and giving foot rubs, ignoring what is on TV. Last night was the first night I really tried this no-talking experiment. It went OK. I wasn't on my phone. I was just sitting there, rubbing feet, and trying to do a mix of meditation, self reflection, and feeling my wife's emotional state, whike ignoring the TV (and the dog jumping on and off of us). It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. I think I will improve at this with time. So why am I on nostr tonight? Well, normally on Friday night, my wife comes home from work and gets drunk. I'm left to babysit the shitshow as much as I can, and just be thankful that it is happening Friday night, and not Thursday and Saturday, or Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. It has, at times, been any of the above. I don't drink, and even if I wanted to, it woukd make matters worse. I've tried it. Nope, not helpful. So I usually have some time to myself Friday nights, when I chill out with the dog. I can't be too much to myself (tried taking off for motorcycle rides, or even going up to the office for computer gaming time, neither really work out that well.) She gets pissed off when I'm not available to her at some points during her drunkenness, and those points are somewhat undefined. She usually doesn't call it a night until 11:30p or later, sometimes 1 or 2 AM. I still usually try to go bed around 10p, because I see the value in actually maintaining a sleep schedule, and your body doesn't differentiate between weekday evenings and weekends. I just get told (with lots of scorn, even sober) "well, it's a weekend night I don't have to worj tomorrow, I'm not going to bed yet". Piss off. Sucks because it is hard to get to sleep when you know you're going to get woken up by your partner in a couple hours. So I'll be able to nostr on drunken evenings (me sober, her fucked off). But that may be my main opportunity for now. Saturday mornings are often spent in the den, on the sofa, her hungover, watching tv. I try to find other shit to do. Sundays are a bit fluid, but I usually go shopping in the morning, often make some eggs for breakfast, again, anything to get off the couch. This weekend I'll be making dog food, and it is my stepson's 18th birthday on Sunday, so who knows how it will go. Tomorrow is a hot rod swap meet, and my son's soccer game. So GN nostr, see you here and there, but know I am in a good place, trying for some personal growth in a very interesting climate. I am living in interesting times, for sure.