Anyone want to buy the chairs I haven't sold yet?

I think I have the tools I need to stop NEEDING Alby for my lightning address. Server with Nginx installed, DDNS service, domain names, lightning node. I'm just not sure how to put them together to get what I want. I'm planning to work through this tomorrow but if anyone has any ELI5 tutorials, I'd be quite appreciative.

Seeing all this news in my feed about DC search trends and real estate values falling off a cliff