sometimes it hurts to exist

Children, trees, stars, water - some of the best dance partners

Son: Wanna make cookies? Yes. Yes, I do.

I struggle with a strong desire to contribute to the world on a massive scale and not having realized this dream yet (that I’m aware of). A lesson has been how important it is to be grateful for the small things one can do in the present moment and for the people we are able to reach, love, or help. And that these things do in fact make a difference. Ripple effect. My brain was on bigger concepts, and I didn’t feel like cooking dinner. But my offspring expressed hunger (they always do). My mind goes something like this: 😩 I don’t want to cook dinner I don’t want to cook dinner I don’t want to cook dinner ⏸️ Hmm… frying tortillas as meditation… 👩‍🍳🍳 🖤 I’m cooking dinner This is okay I’m cooking dinner I’m cooking dinner for my son who is home for Christmas Yay! My kid’s here! I’m loving my kid! I have food in the house to cook for my family... I’m thankful. It’s cozy here 🥰😌 I like cooking dinner.

Online reality feels like a different reality than physical reality. Discuss? #asknostr #quantum

Social media is a creative outlet for me.🎨 I also enjoy and feel called to be part of the conversation of how to create the world reality that is changing so rapidly within our lifetime.🌎 I have been banned, shadow banned, and/or suspended on Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, and Substack in the last several years. ❌ This is part of why I’m here on Nostr. I’ve had trouble determining whether I’m wasting my energy doing something I enjoy (posting on social media, talking to bitcoiners, creating a vibe I like) or to keep it up as I’m being silenced or I get no traction. I’ve taken months at a time off social media for sanity, energy conservation, protection, and “what’s the point?”. I like it here best right now, but it still feels like speaking into the void. I’ve been living in the void for years 😆🖤 It feels like something has to spark eventually, but idk - maybe not! 🧭 When I’m posting here or online in general these days, I often just think of it as notes to the future. Hello to the future.👋 Sending love. ~ Heather (signing like the old person I may be when this note is viewed) #nostr 💜 #notestothefuture

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GM 🌸

GN