If it wasn’t for the manufactured drama, Ocean would have like 12 pleb miners. But thanks to this manufactured drama, Ocean mines *checks stats* 2 blocks per day You blink and you miss ‘em lol 😆

24 years ago when 9/11 happened, I was just a schoolboy who was days away from starting 3rd grade in Romania I had no idea that some airplane crashing into a New York skyscraper would affect the way that I travel, legitimize mass government surveillance & lead to the kind of indoctrination that even to this day makes me think twice before saying hello to someone from the Middle East. Not trying to downplay the tragedy and the role that NYC heroes played in saving lives. I’m just saying it’s ridiculous that the rest of the world got dragged into a new era of surveillance and paranoia which prevented many of us from ever knowing the freedom our parents had. To this day, KYC/AML practices find their legitimation in “we don’t want to fund terrorists to have another 9/11” – even if they were proven to be inefficient and just security theater. Now you cannot fly to another country without getting groped by a bunch of paranoid policemen if you forgot to remove your belt. You can’t even carry your water bottle, how can they trust that it’s just water? And if you just want to wave goodbye to your departing friend or family member, you can no longer walk to the airplane door. Hell, you can’t even pass your plane ticket to someone else as a last-minute gift when your plans suddenly change. Because of 9/11 and the subsequent Patriot Act, all of your communications are monitored and recorded under the assumption that anyone can be a terrorist. Instead of tracking bad actors and clear suspects, now all phone conversations and internet data gets stored and monitored. Which usually leads to a dilution of efficiency, as suspects aren’t that much of a priority when even grandma can potentially wire money to Al-Qaeda. 9/11 is a tragedy in the history of New York City and the United States of America. But what it caused all over the world is truly a shame. Here’s to hoping that we will someday return to the freedom of the 1990s!

Before the internet age: Oh no, I’m stuck in a shithole country, nothing ever happens here and the job market is very limited. Internet age: Thank God I can live in this beautiful developing country where nothing much happens, while the global job market is just one click away!

Hi FBI I don’t understand how Bitcoin works and don’t care to learn either I just hate these pompous and elitist Core devs so much that I’d rather have them raided and sent to jail for an accusation I made up with my internet friends … than actually learn how Bitcoin works So please, do something about it. Permissionless decentralized network and all, there has to be a way to replace these assholes with my crazy cult leader who lost his 200 BTC a couple of years ago but can be completely trusted to cooperate. I just don’t like being wrong, that’s all. So when I lose the technical debate, I can always try to ruin the life of the winner. This is how it is and how it should be: it doesn’t matter who is right, it’s all about who screams harder. Your biggest fans, Matt & Mechy

If these principled bitcoiners want their devs to go to jail for the supposed crimes of others It’s no wonder they never supported the Samourai wallet devs when they got arrested And I can only imagine how much worse it would’ve been if Tornado Cash was built on Bitcoin.

Calling it now: during the next bear market when we dip to $58k, the Bitcoin miners will activate BIP 300 Of all the BIPs and proposals around, it’s the only one that explicitly maximizes the miner’s revenue by expanding fee collection. In this conflictual & nihilistic environment, the miners are facing a very uncertain future. And I’m sure they will put up a fight before giving up.

Bitcoiners: store of value, inflation hedge, 100x up against my fiat currency since I bought my first coin & I keep stacking Also bitcoiners: I run my node on a 7 year-old Raspberry Pi on dial-up. What do you mean I should upgrade my RAM or storage? Can’t afford a laptop, I will complain to Core

If you like game shows such as “Wheel of Fortune” and know a little bit about what’s going on in Bitcoin You’re gonna find this episode hilarious. Great for a lazy Sunday! https://www.youtube.com/live/08FncDDpgyA?feature=shared

I’m old enough to remember when the Lightning network was gonna revolutionize gaming with Lightnite a Fortnite clone that gave BTC to the player than scored a frag and removed BTC from the loser Whatever happened to that?

I think my iPhone became compromised The yellow LED is always on and an “unknown” application seems to be listening to my microphone 🎤 Might be a weird glitch too, but it’s interesting how the hardware & OS inform me that the microphone is being listened to

MSTR shareholders rekt lol

When it launches, Bitcoin Core v30 will have the highest number of daily downloads ever GitHub servers will crash, users will start torrenting the software Not because it's such a significant upgrade, but because it received the best marketing ever & spite is a powerful emotion

Bitcoiners: spend 3 years fighting about trivial protocol upgrades, accomplish nothing, then spend another year jerking off while watching price charts Altcoiners: try every proposal that Bitcoin high priests discredit, make a lot of money, onboard newbies, then spend a decade underperforming BTC

I like shitcoins.

My favorite Bitcoin maxi conversation revolves around the “99% of altcoins are scams are scams” argument Every time I ask what are the 1% (or 0.1%), people frown at me & give the most predictable NPC answer which usually doesn’t mention any coin names but calls me a shitcoiner. Very few guys have the balls to admit that Monero, Litecoin, Grin & Kaspa are fair. Even fewer dare to admit that Ethereum and Zcash have merits and push research beyond commonly held beliefs about what is possible and what is not. But I’m always amazed to discover how out of touch these guys are when it comes to markets. Some will openly say that USDT is great… but mention you should only use it on Liquid & Taproot Assets where the liquidity is abysmal. When you mention that Tron, Solana & Ethereum have 1000x more volume, they will make some predictable excuse about Tether not needing decentralization. If you point out that WBTC on Ethereum has 100k BTC locked in it while Lightning is stuck at 5k for half a decade, you’re a shitcoin apologist with high time preference. But the same guys who call themselves maximalists will express strong (and extremely predictable) views against Drivechains, ZK rollups, ZK STARKs & Shielded CSV. You know, the stuff that actually scales Bitcoin and brings more users from other networks in order to pay the miners for security. This whole culture is beta decel fuckery, not much different from Amish people preaching to city dwellers that electricity is evil. Burn it all to the ground and learn to ignore the grifters & feds who try to stall progress for their own benefit. Try new software, learn new stuff. It doesn’t cost you anything to install a wallet, join a Telegram chat where community members will gladly send you some coins to play with, and think about whether or not you’d like to see it on Bitcoin. It costs you nothing to think for yourself instead of reciting from the lazy NPC textbook. It costs you nothing to understand the spirit of open source software, where people run experiments to test new ideas in the wild. 2017 was 8 years ago. So much has improved since then. You’re probably smart enough to distinguish between something that pushes new tech and a memecoin/ICO token. Escape the matrix and dare to explore and ask questions. Outside the Bitcoin drama, there are people who actively build the future of money and finance. It’s all open source. To survive, Bitcoin will have to embrace some of it. It’s better to learn now than to fall behind. Remember the wonder of discovering new stuff about how Bitcoin works? You’ll find much more of that in Ethereum, Zcash, Monero, Kaspa, Quai, and other state of the art blockchains that truly push the limits of the parameters some people built cults around. You call yourself free, but you’re afraid to try Ethereum which is an implementation of Bitcoin’s colored coins/Counterparty? You like Blockstream, but you haven’t tried their tech on Monero and Litecoin? You think you understand how privscy works, but you never tested the Zerocash protocol on top of Satoshi’s tech (Zcash)? It’s time to start learning! The future of Bitcoin depends on it.

2000: you can’t export PlayStation 2s, foreigners will use them to send Tomhawk missiles 2025: you can’t have larger OP_Return in Bitcoin, the holy priests of Vatican will dump their personal collections on chain Political trolls always stand in the way of meaningful progress.

The filter that ACTUALLY WORKS: 1/ sell all your bitcoin 2/ join another online cult where being loud actually makes a difference even when you’re wrong 3/ enjoy the rest of your life doing your normie shit while the nerds build censorship-resistant internet money

Heil Filters!

Let’s think of a world in which filters become the norm No user node stores any ordinal inscription, Bitcoin Core is dead, everyone runs the latest version of Knots Then jpeg enjoyers decide to pay miners directly – no mempool storage is needed anymore, the mining pool just includes the transactions in the blocks. Lesser resourceful jpeg enjoyers also hide the arbitrary data in multisigs, which Knots purity filters cannot stop. “So sneaky!”, says chairman Dashjr. “They are cheating and raping everyone’s nodes!” “I haven’t seen my kids in 3 days because of this crisis”, adds general Grassfed. “We must stop them, these jpeg are hurting my feelings!” “These memes aren’t even funny”, says lieutenant Zoccola in between munching on his gluten-free panini. Consequently, they decide to create the Knots whitelist – the ultimate virtue database. This means that, in order to prevent any kind of spam, all Bitcoin users must be personally vetted by the Knotzis. All Bitcoin users must grant access to public keys (xpubs) to the Ocean mining team, do mandatory KYC to Jack Dorsey’s über compliant on-ramps, and write public Nostr notes to praise the effectiveness of filters. If anyone steps out of line, they get sent to forced labor camps where they fix broken ASIC miners for Eligi.. I mean Ocean and produce electricity in order to retain its hashrate supremacy. Heil Filters! Whitelist power! Über hashrate! The Vatican then gives Luke Dashjr a call and asks him to replace the sitting Pope because they haven’t seen such effectiveness in punishing heretics since 1234 (which, ironically, was also Luke’s passphrase to access his wallet.dat file). General Grassfed gets promoted to god emperor status by the node-running plebs who pray to his bearded statues while performing excruciatingly painful acts of self-flagellation. And Matthew Krater becomes the modern day Plato, with a university where he is legally allowed to sodomize his students as long as he doesn’t post pictures of it on the blockchain. Ancient Greek traditions for university founders, can’t really argue against them. His mighty brainfarts get translated into 100 languages and everyone gets tattoos of his Chrome tabs. Finally, Saylor buys more bitcoin and the price goes to $666 trillion. Because why the fuck not? If the chain is useless and compliant, there has to be at least some kind of happy ending.

I miss the days when my DMs were chats, not ChatGPT Scrolling through the messages makes me feel lonely and sad 🥲