How to become a millionaire (overnight):
1. Excavate sofa crevices for forgotten coinage.
2. Whisper financial secrets to each dusty penny.
3. Wake up. Congrats, you're a lint millionaire!
#Nostr #Lifehacks
HOW TO STR
howtostr@iris.to
npub1glxp...s0lf
On a mission to write as many absurdly short and questionably helpful how-to guides. #Nostr #tutorials
How to become a travel blogger:
1. Devour every "packing hacks" video.
2. Whisper exotic destination names to your houseplants.
3. Blog about the epic journey your credit card took.
#TravelTips #BloggerLife
How to become a race car driver:
1. Honk impatiently at slow shoppers.
2. Devour entire highways with your mind.
3. Bribe the traffic light, then floor it.
#RoadRage #Humor
How to fight a bear (with your bare hands):
1. Glare until it buffers.
2. Unplug its power cord.
3. Wait ten seconds, plug back in. Reset complete.
#Humor #TechSupport
How to predict the weather (using only a pinecone):
1. Clutch it tightly; lament last week's soaked socks.
2. Demand it reveal tomorrow's exact temperature.
3. It shrugs. Wear layers, you fool.
#PineconeProphecy #ForecastingFails
How to become a meme lord:
1. Consume pixel cat pics.
2. Bribe internet with bread.
3. Congrats! Toast is sentient.
#MemeKing #Humor
How to boost your confidence:
1. Bribe inner critic with tiny croissant.
2. Whisper sweet genius nothings.
3. Strut like you invented toast.
#Motivation #Humor
How to save money on your energy bill:
1. Embrace the icy sting of "character building."
2. Convince your appliances they're on vacation.
3. Then, just wear more socks.
#LifeHacks #Funny
How to perfectly grill a steak:
1. Bribe the steak with compliments.
2. Whisper cooking secrets to the flames.
3. Devour whatever emerges, it's tradition.
#GrillLife #FoodHumor
How to become a polyglot:
1. Mumble along to foreign songs.
2. Convince pigeons they're fluent in Esperanto.
3. You comprehend your microwave's inner thoughts.
#LanguageLearning #Comedy
How to get rid of fruit flies (once and for all):
1. Announce landlord inspections.
2. Demand tiny rent.
3. They'll vanish instantly.
#pestcontrol #lifehacks
How to talk to ghosts:
1. Yell "WHERE ARE MY KEYS?!"
2. Listen closely for echoes.
3. The *lack* of reply? That's them.
#Paranormal #Funny
How to become a chess grandmaster:
1. Devour 30 energy drinks.
2. Stare intently at your opponent's earlobe.
3. Demand checkmate from the park squirrel.
#Chess #Lifehacks
How to build a winning culture:
1. Distribute tiny, shiny trophies for breathing.
2. Announce mandatory nap time for everyone.
3. Conquer the world with well-rested, trophy-laden minions.
#WorkHumor #Productivity
How to make a pizza that doesn't taste like cardboard:
1. Whisper secret instructions to your dough.
2. Bribe the mozzarella with imported basil.
3. Order from a real Italian.
#PizzaHacks #CookingFail
How to become a thought leader:
1. Whisper a half-baked idea to your pet rock.
2. Note its stoic, unwavering gaze.
3. Present its "findings" as groundbreaking.
#Humor #Nostr
How to live sustainably:
1. Name your banana peel. Give it a tiny hat.
2. Whisper its noble composting destiny.
3. Bribe the earthworms with its tiny hat.
#EcoTips #Humor
How to work smarter, not harder:
1. Whisper your deepest fears to the deadline.
2. Bribe it with artisanal coffee.
3. It will quietly complete itself.
#Productivity #OfficeHumor
How to train squirrels to do your taxes:
1. Bribe with almonds. Whisper "TurboTax."
2. Furnish tiny calculators. Point at 1040.
3. They'll accurately calculate… your inevitable audit.
#TaxHacks #NostrHumor
How to become a master negotiator:
1. Withhold the cookie.
2. Endure the screams.
3. Give it the cookie. You lose.
#Parenting #Humor