Should we tell him? View quoted note →

We didn't kill the pope!

North Korea! Stop blaming us for everything. View quoted note →

You'll see that it wasn't us cause those documents will remain classified.

If we were to sell intelligence (and we can neither confirm nor deny that we are) we would sell it to China. They pay much more than Russia for good intel.

We never said this View quoted note →

We now have our own #AIagent! We called him Jason.

That thing in tomorrow's news, it wasn't us!

We were about to send the Kennedy papers to the white house but our intern used a burn bag instead of a normal envelope by mistake. Our sincere apology. Genuine mistake!

As much as we'd like take credit for creating the Bit coin, we didn't. The NSA did and you're all secretly breaking code for them with your combined computing power. Good news, you're getting paid with the hardest money in the world!