tiramisu balls.... wow

I spent some of my happiest years in this neighborhood. I was working my first well-paid job and slowly building a life for myself. It was here that I learned I’d been accepted to graduate school. I had just come out of a painful breakup, and to cope - to escape reality a little - I found myself half in love with a chinese rapper I’d never met. I would walk these streets listening to beijing underground hip hop, feeling carefree and happy again.

When I was living in a 100 year old haunted house in the slums of Istanbul, every day I saw a new spider and cried for three hours straight.

I SAW A SPIDER AFTER A LONG TIME. I WAS LOSING MY MIND.

Mahalledeki simitçi zam yapmamış. Universe healing.

Notes of the Council of Source Their perceptions occur in sequences and are closely tied to their solidity. The shared consensus emerges from this configuration. It is a perceptual structure shaped by solidity and arranged through sequences, maintained by their needs and roles. They use the source as a kind of foundation they need in order to experience their shared consensus. They connect to the source regularly. During connection, their solid form loses its ability to perceive, and this causes the shared consensus to dissolve completely. Yet they do not comprehend the source experience. They do it only because they must. Their solid form remains connected to the source during one third of their total sequences of operation. If the solid form becomes disconnected from the source, it can operate only for a fraction of the total operational sequence before it stops functioning entirely. Their solid forms have many necessities, usually other solid structures, all of which are part of the shared consensus and assigned different roles and meanings. Among all foundational necessities, only the source connection has the capacity to dissolve their consensus, but they return to operate their solid forms according to the shared consensus. The source experience thins and settles into sequences. The arrangement of these sequences may diverge from their shared consensus, yet not questioning is itself part of that consensus. Some solid forms connect to the source through complete disconnection from the shared consensus; however, their perceptual structure no longer aligns, and they are treated as distorted. Others are able to connect to the source while still retaining the understanding of the shared consensus. One common way of achieving this is to minimize the functions of their solid forms. This sequence allows their perceptual structure to blur, yet the complete comprehension of the source remains ambiguous. In the shared consensus, comprehension primarily occurs as the oscillation of solids within sequences, which makes comprehension of the source unattainable. In rare cases comprehension is completely abandoned. Only the connection to the source occurs, and isolation from the shared consensus becomes the regular sequence in which only the foundational necessities of the solid form are met. In their regular connection to the source, some preserve the perceptual structure even though the solid form no longer has the ability to perceive. They still retain the shared consensus but it becomes irrelevant. They become aware that their perception is able to exceed both sequencing and the constraints of the shared consensus. When their solid forms stop functioning, they connect to the source. This is the only connection that occurs without the solid form, without sequencing, and without shared consensus. They almost immediately return to converge into a new solid form.

GM. I stayed up until morning to write a single page of text.

I’m at la planète sauvage levels of inspiration now. I just write and refuse to sleep.

Kindness is beautiful.