they don't make 'em like that in America anymore.

the man does not give a literal fuck and I love that for me.

he was so right when he said that someday I was gonna shatter like glass but what he was also saying is that he'll be there to pick me up and put me back together when it happens so I guess it was all for the best.

only billionaires know what it's like to have a billion people wanna fuck you cause you're a billionaire.

crossing the Rubicon whilst starved of affection and we're kicking and screaming into the light but at least it's almost the beginning.

the volume really does need to be turned up to 11 on this matter and many others: everybody's got options. everybody's got stories. but the best stories and the best options have some intertwining wherein there is attraction and a comedy of errors and then perhaps a quite spontaneous and romantic resolve. this is the ideal. we love a little drama here and there, but none is so potent as that which has spanned over the course of many years (allegedly) and endured the tests of time (thankfully). personally, it's a mix up of expectations which typically precedes a breakdown of communications. or vice versa. either way, it is good to make the expectations known: I am nobody's groupie. I have never been nor will I ever be. I sing like a fucking angel and I don't care to follow rock stars around begging for a morsel of attention and the occasional reward of affection. however, I like rock stars a lot and I think it's because they get me temperamentally and are not offended by my strong emotions, unlike computer dorks and geeks – no offense, you know I love you all so much – so the allure is incalculable and unquantifiable. in fact, they do want me to be even more passionate because it makes the music even better, so long as the wrath is otherwise directed away from them, which is easy when they're just so damn handsome. anyways, that's all!

I am sorry to be so explicit today, but there's a lot of warfare going on and I think it's a good time to remind men that the shape of the rocket is also as important as the length and width. skinny long rockets just seem very stabby and short wide rockets are somewhat of a nightmare. there's got to be a happy medium if you know what I mean.

ok fellas I just feel like internet dating is probably a form of civilizational suicide but I do have one request: can somebody please make a dating app where it's JUST DICKS. now, I don't mean explicit dick pics, but like a database of dicks and all corresponding information about them + a full body photo and one nice portrait of the face + perhaps a photo of the dick itself but then rendered into a simple graphic. what could very well be included here is agentic AI to perhaps do some filtering and maybe even some obscuring – I don't want to see a bunch of dicks – but I do want to know whether they fit my preferred criteria so that there's no more awkward guessing, and the AI could probably do a lot of the legwork of small talk to find out if the personality is compatible. additionally, I believe that this will be useful in preventing excessive promiscuity, as the Finding Out part of Fucking Around is truly a sordid and tedious task, and it leaves too much room for disappointment and error, the error being that I, perhaps, would not have even tried had I known. imo, it's just really time to change the dating game permanently so that there's more satisfaction and less OOPSIES because, say, I wanted more but got far less. obviously, this could be done manually through the swiping apps but it's really awkward trying to guess whether a good looking man has a small penis, which is the most unfortunate position to be in. thank you for your attention to this matter!

idk who needs to hear this BUT COCAINE IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU STOP BEING A FUCKING RETARD.

I wish people didn't come with multiple era-sensitive pamphlets about their salacious pasts but though I may be a bit susceptible I am not corruptible thank God

literally the crickets are developing melodic skills

very "early-to-mid Fall of Rome" type sh

honestly

yikes

everybody gets scared when they find out it's true.

it's 4:20 am and the birds have gotten quite baroque about it