The Saga of Conan and Fenrir vs. The Time Traveling Gen Z
In the shadowed mists of a Hyborian Age battlefield, Conan of Cimmeria stood victorious over a heap of vanquished foes, his broadsword dripping with crimson. The air was thick with the stench of death, and the sky churned with storm clouds. Yet, as the barbarian wiped the sweat from his brow, a strange hum pierced the silence a sound no warrior of his time could fathom. The ground quaked, and from a swirling vortex of light emerged a sight most bizarre: a band of youths clad in vibrant, shimmering garments, their hair dyed in hues of neon, wielding glowing devices that spat sparks and strange voices.
These were the Time-Traveling Gen Z, a rogue faction from the year 2075, armed with quantum chronometers stolen from a utopian future. Led by a lanky figure named Zane self-proclaimed “Vibe Lord” with a man-bun and a holographic vape they had grown bored of their cushy, algorithm-driven lives. Seeking chaos and clout, they’d hacked the timeline to wreak havoc across history, livestreaming their exploits to a future audience of trillions. Their latest target? The ancient world of Conan, where they aimed to “remix” history with their tech and slang.
“Cringe flex, bro,” Zane sneered, eyeing Conan’s rippling muscles. “Bet this dude’s never even heard of Wi-Fi.” His crew giggled, snapping selfies with the corpses as drones buzzed overhead, capturing every angle.
Conan, unamused, hefted his blade. “By Crom, what manner of fools trespass on my land?” he roared, charging forward. But Zane tapped his wrist, and a force field shimmered into existence, deflecting Conan’s strike. Another Gen Z’er, a girl named Kylx with holographic nails, unleashed a swarm of nanobots that stung like wasps, driving the barbarian back.
The fight might have ended there, had not the earth itself rebelled. From the northern woods came a thunderous howl, and Fenrir, the dread wolf of Asgard, burst forth his fur black as midnight, his jaws wide enough to swallow a man whole. Bound no longer by the chains of myth, Fenrir had sensed the rift in time, a disturbance that offended even his primal soul. His amber eyes locked on the intruders, and with a snarl, he lunged.
“Yo, that’s a big nope!” Kylx shrieked, firing a plasma pistol. The bolt singed Fenrir’s flank, but the beast shrugged it off, snapping a drone from the air and crushing it between his teeth. Conan, seizing the chaos, rolled beneath the force field and drove his sword into the gut of a distracted Gen Z’er, sending their smartwatch sparking into ruin.
An uneasy alliance formed in that moment. Conan, pragmatic and fierce, saw in Fenrir a kindred spirit a force of raw, untamed power. Fenrir, sensing Conan’s strength, growled an assent. Together, they faced the time-travelers, a whirlwind of steel and fang against lasers and drones.
Zane rallied his crew. “Okay, fam, let’s clap back full send!” They unleashed their arsenal: sonic grenades that shattered stone, AI-guided drones with tasers, even a meme cannon that projected disorienting images of dancing cats and cryptic phrases like “Yeet or be Yeeted.” Conan staggered under the assault, his mind reeling from the absurdity, but Fenrir’s rage anchored them. The wolf tore through the drones, his howls drowning out the sonic blasts.
The tide turned when Conan, with a mighty heave, uprooted a tree and hurled it at Zane’s quantum chronometer a bulky device strapped to his back. The machine sparked and whined, its temporal field destabilizing. “No cap, this is sus!” Zane cried as the vortex reopened, sucking his crew back into the void. Kylx clawed at the ground, screaming about her lost follower count, but the timeline spat them out, leaving only silence.
Panting, Conan leaned on his sword, staring at Fenrir. The wolf met his gaze, then turned, vanishing into the forest as the storm clouds parted. No words passed between them none were needed. The barbarian wiped his blade clean, muttering, “Strange days indeed,” before trudging off to seek ale and a wench.
And so, the ancient world endured, spared from the whims of Gen Z’s temporal tantrum, thanks to the unlikely fury of Conan and Fenrir.
