A man buys Bitcoin early & loses his private key.
His friends say, “wow bro bad luck”
The man says, “diamond hands”
A year later, China bans Bitcoin mining & the price of Bitcoin is down 90%, the man goes all in on Bitcoin.
His friend says “bro that's so risky”
The man says, “volatility is tuition”https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HIr8eerXsAAQat2?format=jpg&name=large
Then the man's Bitcoin goes up 10X in value, so he takes half his Bitcoin, gets a loan & pays off his mortgage
His friends say, "damn wish I bought when you did"
The man says, "we're still early"
Shortly after, the company holding half the man's BTC goes bankrupt & he loses it.
His friends say, “omg what bad luck...”
The man says, “WAGMI”
Soon after, Michael Saylor dedicates his life to acquiring as much Bitcoin as he can, and the man's remaining Bitcoin goes up another 10X in value as corporations & banks pile in.
His friends say, “bro you are so lucky”
The man says, “stay humble, stack sats”
Then AI disruption arrives and everyone says Quantum Computers are going to destroy the value of Bitcoin. The man's Bitcoin goes down in value 50%.
His friends say, "hope you're doing ok"
The man says, "tick tock, next block"
The man installs Claude Code and Opus 4.7 finds his private keys, the man's Bitcoin is worth 100X what it was when he thought he lost it.
His friends say, "you got a horseshoe up your ass"
The man says, "fix the money, fix the world"
Then Michael Saylor acquires 1 millionth Bitcoin, the price of Bitcoin goes to $1,000,000 per coin.
Everyone says "this is bad for bitcoin."
The man says, "this is hyperbitcoinization."
