christo
christo@zaps.lol
npub1qs3z...tccl
Once this dude zapped a whole Bitcoin at #Zapathon but normally we just zap a few Bitcoin instead
FAA Announces Bold Shift: Redefining Time from Milliseconds to Years for "Universal" Air Traffic Control
By J. P. Skywatcher, Aviation Correspondent
May 19, 2025, 9:09 PM BST
WASHINGTON, D.C.
In a move that has left aviation experts and frequent fliers scratching their heads, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) announced today a radical overhaul of its air traffic control system, redefining its base unit of time from milliseconds to years.
The agency claims this shift will make operations "more universal" and insists that safety will remain, in their words, "probably fine."
FAA Administrator Wanda Chronos unveiled the plan at a press conference held in a dimly lit hangar, where she explained the rationale behind the change. "Milliseconds are so last century,"
Chronos said, adjusting her oversized hourglass pendant. "By switching to years, we're aligning air traffic control with the grand, cosmic scale of the universe.
It’s about thinking big—really big. Like, geological-epoch big."
The decision, according to FAA officials, stems from a desire to streamline operations and make air traffic control "more relatable" to the average person.
"Nobody thinks in milliseconds," said deputy administrator Tim Tock. "But everyone understands years.
When a controller says, 'Flight 123, you’re cleared for takeoff in 0.0001 years,' it just feels more human, you know?"
Industry analysts, however, are skeptical. Dr. Amelia Vector, an aviation systems expert at Flyover University, warned that the change could introduce unprecedented chaos.
"Milliseconds are critical for precise sequencing of aircraft," she said. "Switching to years means a plane could be cleared to land in, say, 0.002 years—that’s over 17 hours! I hope passengers packed snacks."
The FAA dismissed concerns about safety, citing internal studies that reportedly show "no statistically significant increase in near-misses" when using the new time scale. "We’ve run the numbers," Tock said, waving a 500-page report titled Temporal Relativity in Runway Dynamics. "If anything, this gives pilots more time to think. Or nap. Either way, it’s a win."
Airlines have already begun adapting to the change. Budget carrier SkySardine announced it would update its in-flight announcements to reflect the new system. "Instead of saying, 'We’re 30 minutes from landing,' we’ll say, 'We’re 0.000057 years from touchdown,'" said CEO Penny Pinch. "It’s futuristic and classy."
Public reaction on X has been a mix of bemusement and alarm. One user posted, "So my red-eye flight is now a multi-year journey? Cool, I’ll pack for the Ice Age." Another quipped, "FAA out here making air traffic control feel like waiting for a cable guy."
When pressed on how controllers will handle split-second decisions, Chronos was unfazed. "We’re training our team to embrace a more relaxed vibe," she said. "If a controller says, ‘Hold pattern for 0.00001 years,’ that’s like, what, three hours? Plenty of time to figure things out."
The FAA plans to roll out the new system next month, with a transition period dubbed "The Great Time Dilation." Critics warn that the change could turn routine flights into odysseys rivaling the wait for a decent in-flight meal. For now, travelers are advised to bring a good book—and maybe a calendar.
J. P. Skywatcher is a freelance journalist who last checked his watch in 2023.
Sats
Steak n shake are showing 1 sat to fourteen decimal places 🤯 they are living in 2125
Not hating on bro but when there's kids out in Gaza holding pans for literal scraps
And that beard guy on YouTube eating insane amounts of food for challenges
You know the world is messed up
Not hating on bro but this is the exact reason Satoshi walked away, so he wouldn't be put in the position of Jack, Peter or John
Holding through the highs and lows was one thing. But are you ready for the real test — staying strong while Bitcoiners disagree on every fucking thing and every instinct urges you to sell?
@GERONIMO 🤣🤣🤣
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Propose for a new term for the smallest unit of Bitcoin....
Cornflake?
@ODELL @Gigi @corndalorian @Derek Ross @jb55 @fiatjaf
Bitcoiners arguing about stupid stuff every 6 months proves the strength of the protocol/network
When Wallet of Satoshi says fully non custodial
What can we expect?